


Counting Down To You

by CodeGayAss, warmpages



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Dorks in Love, Fluff, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Romantic Soulmates, authors are losers, but keith is lowkey a stoner, it's not much don't worry, klance, klangst, minor mentions of Hamilton and kpop, minor mentions of slight abuse and neglect, minor smut, not a lot dw, will tag in the actual chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2018-10-19 17:21:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 39,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10644516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CodeGayAss/pseuds/CodeGayAss, https://archiveofourown.org/users/warmpages/pseuds/warmpages
Summary: The au where everyone has a timer on their wrist counting down to when they meet their soulmate. Keith never wanted a soulmate, Lance always wanted one. The universe paired them up anyway.





	1. Photos On Walls

**[Shiro: 4:16 pm]**

**What do u mean ur** **_back???_ **

Keith was terrified.

He knew it was unreasonable. He'd been avoiding this for years, doing whatever it took to push back those blinking numbers on his wrist. His Soul Clock. Keith wasn't ready.

**[Me: 4:21 pm]**

**uh.. yea.. I moved back.**

He hadn't wanted to. He only came back because the university here was the only one with a full ride scholarship with his major. Space architecture. It was his only passion and the only thing that kept him sane with his ever changing surroundings. 

**[Shiro: 4:22 pm]**

**Since when???**

**[Shiro: 4:22 pm]**

**Why????**

**[Shiro: 4:22 pm]**

**Where r u rn**

Shiro was Keith's foster brother, and he'd met him when he was ten and moved into his sixth foster home. Shiro and Keith connected instantly and were practically inseparable. Shiro was the closest Keith had to family. It hurt when he had to leave even if it was his own fault. He's the one that requested a new foster home, but just couldn't bear it. He wasn't ready. His  _ soulmate _ was catching up to him. 

**[Me: 4:26 pm]**

**uh.. I'm about to register for class..?**

**[Shiro: 4:26 pm]**

**Altea University yeah? I'll b right there**

**[Me: 4:30 pm]**

**Shiro I'm a big boy now I can register for my classes by myself**

**[Shiro: 4:31 pm]**

**Don't sass me I'm coming**

Now, five years after moving away, Keith was back. He honestly didn't want to deal with Shiro, at least not right now. He'd only just arrived a few days before and was staying in a shitty last-minute apartment, and he needed to get his life together before dealing with Shiro’s justifiable questions. He should have known better than to text him before he was ready to meet him, but he just couldn't help himself. He'd missed Shiro more than anything. His most recent foster home was decent, but nothing like his time with Shiro’s family. He never felt isolated when with them because Shiro would always try to include him in everything, but he always had to say no. Anything to avoid meeting his soulmate. Shiro would invite him to the zoo, the park, the mall, the museum, and any other fascinating place for a ten year old just to make him feel welcome, but the minute he stepped outside, his Soul Clock would drop down to just a couple of hours. He’d immediately come up with a lie as to why he wasn’t able to go and, of course, immediately regret it. It’d make him feel worse when Shiro would inquire as to why Keith never hangs out with him because he just wanted to scream it wasn’t his fault. He just wasn’t ready to be tied down and relinquish control. He actually didn’t like the idea of soulmates, but the universe gave him one anyway. It wasn’t even his soulmate’s fault -- whoever they were -- he bet they were as perfect as any soulmate could be. But the whole system was bullshit. Making people grow up to venerate a complete stranger in hopes that they’ll get their happily ever after wasn’t realistic. It was cruel. At least, that was the way it was with his parents.

**[Shiro: 5:01 pm]**

**Hey I’m here where u at**

**[Me: 5:08]**

**calm your tits I’m almost there**

**[Shiro: 5:08]**

**Don’t talk to ur father that way**

**[Me: 5:10]**

**Shiro you’re my brother**

**[Shiro: 5:11]**

**If u could only hear me sigh just now**

**[Me: 5:12]**

**whatever I see you so shut up**

Keith strapped his tiny red motorbike to the back of Shiro’s car, expecting to leave right away. When Keith opened the door, he kept his eyes glued to his hands as he sat down. Social interactions were always a bit difficult for him, even if it was with someone as open as Shiro.

“Hey buddy, haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Did you just call me bud--”

Keith suddenly looked up and was utterly astonished to see what Shiro looked like. Equipped with a huge scar across his nose, new white hair, and a fucking bionic arm, Keith almost didn’t recognize him. In his shocked silence, Shiro shuttered out a chuckle.

“Hah...that noticeable?”

“Jesus Shiro what the fuck happened to you. I mean, it’s nothing bad, but like...where is your arm?”

“While you were gone, I got into a big accident. Car was a total wreck, and it was pretty scary. It’s been a while, but I guess I can’t help the way I look.”

“What about your clock? How will you know?”

“That’s the one thing I feel sorry about losing, but there’s no point in worrying about it. I guess it’ll just feel right when I meet them.”

“I’m so envious of you right now. You’re finally free from all that.”

The whole mood abruptly changed. Shiro’s lips completely thinned out, and he seemed to grip the steering wheel a bit harder than necessary. A wave of nervousness rose over Keith as he realized this is the first time he’s ever sincerely pissed off Shiro. He could just see Shiro’s angry thoughts racing through his mind, and Keith didn’t particularly know what to do. 

“Keith, I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Shiro whispered. Keith instantly felt anger well in his stomach. 

“Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re smarter,” Keith spat, turning his head toward the window and away from Shiro. He didn’t need this lecture. Shiro didn’t know about his parents, or the evil that soul mates could bring. Keith had always wanted to tell him, but he just couldn’t open himself up that much no matter how hard he tried. 

“I never said that, but you can’t act as if my losing my only connection to my soulmate is a  _ good _ thing. You’ve been gone so long and the first thing you do is give me this bullshit?” 

Keith just sat in silence, stewing in what Shiro had just said. He felt guilty, but his pride and stubbornness would never let that show. Shiro sighed.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to start this way. It’s just… a touchy subject,” Shiro closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest. 

“It’s… It’s okay. I’m sorry I was insensitive,” Keith started, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. For everything… I just…” Keith sighed in frustration. He wasn’t used to having to explain himself to anyone. It was just him and his decisions, nothing he did affected anyone. Until Shiro had up and decided to care for him. Other foster homes didn’t bother with the problematic child that was Keith, but Shiro and his family had welcomed him with open arms. The other homes left him to his own devices because they were too packed to deal with Keith and his problems. Each house was filthy, filled with sickness, and neglect. Not that different from his own house. Shiro’s home had been a refuge from the chaos that was his life. 

“Why did you leave? You never gave me an explanation.”

When Keith looked at Shiro again he wished he hadn’t. The older boy looked so lost and upset. Keith had hurt him. In his own selfish desire to run away like he always did, he hurt the only person that bothered to care for him. That was all that Keith was good at: running. He spent his entire life running, and now it was time to face reality. With Shiro, at least. 

“I left because my Soul Clock was almost at zero,” Keith said quietly. He squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. 

“What?”

Keith could hear the disbelief in Shiro’s voice. He didn't have to see the shocked expression to know it was there. He didn't bother to look up, to give Shiro the satisfaction. Keith had always been excellent at hiding his true emotions but that didn't seem to matter when it came to Shiro. He was the only person that could read him no matter how hard he tried to keep his book closed. 

“I wasn't ready-- still am not ready. I don't--” Keith ran a frustrated hand through his hair, “Soul mates are useless. To me. Nothing is scarier than having someone build you up in their head for years only to be detrimentally disappointed at the actual you.” 

“Keith you never know who they are--” 

“Until you meet them, yeah, I know. But I don't want to meet them. I don't care who they are. I don't need a forever person. I don't need the universe planning everything for me. I don't need any decisions that are not my own.” Keith stared angrily out the window, still not looking at Shiro. 

“You are unbelievably stubborn. You won't even follow what the universe tells you, so I won't bother to say anything. Just,” Shiro put what he probably thought was a comforting hand on Keith's shoulder, but the cold metal of his bionic arm sent a shock of authority through Keith instead, “don't let this ‘I am my own destiny’ mindset run your life. If you keep running to avoid the universe choosing for you, your life still is, in a way, controlled by the universe.” Shiro took his hand away, and Keith couldn't have been more grateful. He wouldn't feel the tremor that ran through Keith's body at that last statement. He fucking hated it when Shiro was right. He spent his entire life running, never letting anyone in as to  _ why _ .  _ Why was he always running? _ Always alone, always doing the exact opposite of what his clock wanted him to. He never let himself hang out with anyone in fear of meeting his soulmate. He never made any friends, any memories, left to run from the one person he was  _ born to be with. _

Shiro was so incredibly right. 

Keith had somehow let the universe control his life while preaching his independence. Preaching how he was in complete control and didn't need his soulmate to determine his future. He was such an idiot. 

“Right. I won't.”  _ Anymore.  _ Keith finally looked at Shiro, glancing up through his overgrown bangs to the only person he'd ever considered family. Shiro looked at him sadly, knowing that the damage had already been done.

“So... I actually already finished registering for class. Told you I didn't need help. So where the hell are we going?” Keith asked cautiously.

“I knew you didn't. I’m taking you to meet my roommate,” Shiro responded gleefully. 

The last thing Keith noticed was Shiro glancing at his right arm knowingly, but Keith ignored it. He was sick of looking at his right arm. 

******************

Shiro’s apartment was somehow exactly how Keith had imagined it and also nothing like it at all. It was decently sized, especially for a college student. Though, Shiro had mentioned on the way something about an internship with NASA and the fact that his roommate was a genius and could build and sell anything, so Keith was sure the pair had more money than the average college student. The front door opened right into a spacious living room with a giant tan sofa and red coffee table, and to the right was a hallway that branched into two bedrooms. The kitchen was all white and in the back of the apartment, separated only by a small bar. It was filled with kitchen supplies that only an avid cook like Shiro would know how to use. Then, there were glass double doors leading to what Keith thought was a balcony. 

The walls were covered with pictures. 

Starting from what looked like elementary school, old polaroids with finger smudged edges, to newer looking photos from what could have been just a few days ago. Snapshots of Christmas mornings, dingy basement hangouts, birthday parties, concerts, and graduations littered the living room. Each picture was simply thumbtacked on any available space, as if as soon as the picture was taken, Shiro immediately printed it and hung it up. Keith knew that making memories was important to Shiro, but seeing it manifest in the form of hundreds of pictures staring at him made his stomach twist. Here were hundreds of Shiro's most precious memories, and Keith was not in a single one. 

“There are more in my room. Matt and I like to put the less personal ones out here.” Shiro nudged Keith's shoulder with his own, effectively snapping him out of his self-loathing. Keith wasn't sure what could be more personal than posting every social gathering he'd ever been to on the living room walls of his apartment, but he nodded anyway. 

“Do you want to see?” Shiro asked almost childishly, as if showing his parent his latest drawing. Keith couldn't say no to that. Shiro lead him down the hallway to the right and into his room. The first thing Keith noticed was the giant bed in the center of the room. It was kingsized, neatly made, and incredibly inviting. Before Keith could stop himself he was already belly flopping onto the black covered bed. 

“Oh my god is this memory foam?!” Keith inquired after landing rather ungracefully.

“Yes, and it's amazing, but that's not what I brought you in here to show you,” Shiro said playfully. The taller was shuffling through his desk, opening the side to what looked like a personal book collection. Keith took Shiro's distraction as an opportunity to look around the room. Just like the living room, the walls were covered in pictures, though these were all noticeably much older. They were in actual picture frames, and a few were hung in the shape of constellations. Keith had a feeling Shiro had gotten into Pinterest, and he had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Shiro was becoming more and more like the “cool dad” that tried so hard to be hip. 

There was a small TV in the corner of the room, next to a large bay window with textbooks piled onto the seat. Each book had something to do with space or physics or both, and Keith felt himself smile at that. Shiro’s room just radiated the feeling of comfort. It was just so  _ Shiro.  _

“Found it!” 

Shiro had been flipping through a very aged photo book and apparently found what he was looking for, holding up a very faded picture. A picture that had smudged from countless times Shiro had taken it out of its protective sleeve in the photo book. A picture that was dull with age and love. A picture of the two of them. 

“Do you remember this?” Shiro's fond smile made something drop in Keith's stomach. 

“Of course I remember,” Keith whispered, sitting up slowly to look closer at the photo. It was of their first Halloween together. Shiro was dressed as an astronaut, his toothy grin looking too large for his young face. Keith was an alien, his scrawny body barely fitting into the lime green body suit. They made a good pair. In the bottom right corner of the picture was the date stamped in faded orange print. October thirty-first, 2010. Keith felt his eyes sting. 

“You've kept that this whole time?” Keith asked, ignoring how shaky his voice was. 

“Of course I did. It's one of the very few pictures I have with my brother,” Shiro said jovially. Keith didn't know what he did to deserve a brother like Shiro. He stared at the other’s angular face, his sharp eyes and the ruddy scar puffing over the bridge of his nose, glaring at Keith as if saying “you abandoned him.” Shiro’s once midnight hair now fashioned a patch of white clearly not from age, since Shiro was only twenty-two. His right arm was a mechanical prosthetic, humming with technology that Keith couldn't understand. He'd missed so much in the five years he'd been away, and meanwhile Shiro had been thinking about him everyday. In the beginning, Shiro had really tried to keep contact. Keith had tried for a while too, until life had gotten too stressful in the new environment and Keith did what he did best. He pushed Shiro away. His responses went from a few hours late, to a few days, to a few weeks, until he somehow fooled himself to think ignoring Shiro's texts and calls all together was completely acceptable. Fooled himself into thinking he wasn't being a horrible person.

“I really missed you…” Shiro said quietly, staring fondly at the picture in his hands. 

Keith opened his mouth to say something, anything, to apologize for what a fucking idiot he had been or to beg for Shiro to tell him everything he'd missed, but he was stopped by someone yelling from the living room. Keith couldn't make out what they had said, but from the subtle blush spreading across his cheeks, Shiro could. 

“Ah, that's Matt. C’mon, I'll introduce you,” Shiro said, already dragging Keith to the living room. Sitting on the couch was a lanky boy with choppy light brown hair. He was sprawled out and his glasses were askew on his nose, as if he had just crash landed. 

“Rough day?” Shiro asked, and the overwhelming fondness in his voice made Keith look at the stranger closer. He was in the majority of the photos tacked to the walls, so Keith could infer that he and Shiro had been friends a long time. The boy, Matt was his name, was wearing an oversized sweater that adequately covered his Soul Clock. Keith understood, he usually covered his own as well, but he wasn't used to such hot weather and had to take off his leather jacket or he would have probably died. 

“You have no idea. First Allura wouldn't stop bugging me and then Pidge, who should be here any second by the way, forgot her notes so I, being the best big brother ever, had to- wait who is this?” Matt asked, finally noticing the very antisocial Keith who was standing slightly behind Shiro. Shiro, of course, wouldn't allow that, so with a sturdy slap on the back he pushed Keith forward and in front of Matt. 

“This,” Shiro started, gesturing towards Keith with a wide and dramatic hand wave, “is my grungy little brother Keith.” Keith felt his cheeks burn.

“I am  _ not _ grungy,” Keith grumbled.

“Saying that only makes you  _ more  _ grungy bro,” Shiro said mockingly, making his way over to Matt and throwing his arm over the shorter male's shoulders. Matt visibly curled into himself at this, his cheeks blooming a pretty scarlet, before he stuck his hand out with a wide grin. 

“I'm Matt. Nice to finally meet Shiro's famous kid brother.” 

Keith raised an eyebrow at the word “famous” but Shiro just shrugged at him. 

“Uh, nice to meet you too,” Keith said, awkwardly shaking hands with Matt before scratching his wrist nervously. Matt was clearly someone very important to Shiro, and Keith wasn't exactly known for giving the best first impressions. Matt didn't seem to mind Keith's quiet demeanor however, and just smiled brightly. 

The doorbell chimed. “Oh! Pidge is here!” Matt said excitedly before shuffling off to the front door. Keith mouthed “Pidge?” to Shiro with an eyebrow raised. “His sister,” Shiro mouthed back. 

“Hey hey hey! Shiro's little brother is here?! Oh- you're not so little are you,” the girl who must have been Pidge said as soon as she entered the room. Keith's wrist started to itch. She was very short and looked very much like Matt. In fact, their one distinguishable feature was their height, other than that they could have been twins. 

“Ah, yeah… Um, Pidge is a pretty unusual name?” Keith wanted to punch himself in the face. He chalked his shitty social skills to him being in the foster care system. 

“Well it's actually Katie. But don't call me that. Seriously,” Pidge stuck her finger in front of Keith's chest, “Do not call me Katie.”

Keith nodded, laughing awkwardly. Pidge immediately after flopped onto the couch and sunk in as deep as possible. She began flipping through TV channels at lightning speed as if her dedicated social time was all used up. Matt turned to Keith.

“I think she likes you.”

“Uh…Yeah because I just made a dandy first impression. She didn't even want to keep talking to me,” Keith mumbled.

“Nah, she's just already comfortable with you. Trust me, she would've been a lot worse if she didn't like you.”

“I can still hear you,” Pidge called out. Matt laughed and cast a friendly smile to Keith. When Matt turned to Shiro, his smile just seemed to grow even more.

“Oh shit! Guys! We should totally go out to eat in honor of Keith tonight. A couple of friends from school just texted me cause they wanna go out, and this is a perfect opportunity,” Pidge exclaimed.

“That’s sounds awesome, I think it'd be nice to get Keith out in the real world anyway. Show him what he missed as a kid,” Shiro punctuated with a wink. 

“You know...I think that'd actually be kinda fun. Thanks for the invite,” Keith said with a smile. It felt good not to be the weird, loner kid for once. The minute everyone started planning where to go though, Keith's arm started itching like a motherfucker. In the shock of the sudden sensation, he glanced down to see his numbers spiralling to a mere 1 hour, 33 minutes, and 12 seconds. And still going. Keith's heart plummeted to the pit of his stomach, and he couldn't breathe. Of course this had to happen. Of course his soulmate had to show up everywhere right when he was trying to get his life back. Keith could barely read the numbers from how bad he was shaking, but he tried to hide it. He was at a loss of what to do. He had  _ just _ promised Shiro he'd stop letting his Soul Clock control his life, and yet here he was, already thinking of every way to get out of this situation. He nervously looked up to meet Shiro’s gaze.

“Shit...I'm really sorry, but I don't think I can make it tonight. I have a bunch of errands to run tomorrow, and I still gotta unpack all my stuff. Maybe another time would be better,” Keith said with complete shame. The lie sounded natural, but he could see Shiro’s eyes narrowing at him.

“Aww but Keeeith! My friends really wanted to meet you since Shiro talks about you so much. How about we help you out tomorrow or something?” Pidge chirped. She was perched backwards on the sofa like a kicked puppy. Keith not only had to deal with Shiro's disappointment but apparently everyone else's as well.

“Um...no...it's ok I wouldn't want to burden you with something like that. Really...it's a lot. I'll be fine. I'm sure we'll have another chance, right?” Keith asked while turning to face Shiro. He was greeted with another dark look and knew he'd miraculously managed to pissed of Shiro again.

“Matt, Pidge. Mind letting me have a talk with my brother alone please?” Shiro bit out. Keith knew he was in deep shit and winced. Matt and Pidge exchanged a wary glance.

“Sure… No problem, Shiro,” Matt cautiously spoke. As the two siblings slowly walked out, fervent whispering could immediately be heard. Keith wondered what they could  _ possibly _ be discussing. He wished he was walking out with them. Anything to avoid the shitstorm that was inevitably going to hail down on him. It took a lot to get Shiro angry. Or at least, angry like this. 

“What the fuck  _ Keith, _ ” Shiro spat, the venom in his voice making Keith shiver. He usually would get angry back, would tell or hit something. He never did well when people were mad at him, for whatever reason. He was always one quick to lash out, but not now. No, now, all Keith could feel was bone crushing shame. 

“Look, I  _ know _ I just-”

“No! Clearly you don't know anything!” Oh shit, Shiro was actually yelling. Keith had only seen Shiro yell once, and it was when a few of the older kids had been picking on Keith. 

“You can't keep doing this Keith! You can't keep running away- isolating yourself  _ every single time _ someone reaches out to you! You deserve better than that!” Shiro stared Keith down, his face red with anger and his shoulders squared. Keith was getting desperate. 

“You don't fucking  _ get it _ -”

“Get what?! Tell me then Keith! I am your brother for Christ's sake!” Shiro yelled, stepping closer to Keith and grabbing his shoulders. Keith felt his eyes sting again and shook Shiro off. He felt like his stomach was twisting into impossible knots and his arms burned with anxiety. His chest was tight and he couldn't  _ breathe. _ When he tried to his breath was stunted, short, choppy hiccups that were forced out on only survival instinct;  _ in out, in out, in out.  _

“I-I just… It's.. It's just…” Keith took a deep breath, angrily scrubbing at his eyes to stop any tears from falling. Shiro just waited patiently for Keith to continue, being the understanding man he was while still stewing in his own anger. Keith owed this to Shiro. Shiro deserved to know. 

“My fucking parents,” Keith breathed out, defeatedly dropping himself down on the couch, “were  _ horrible _ soul mates.” Shiro sat himself across from Keith on the coffee table. 

“They were so toxic for each other, Shiro. The whole feeling each other's emotions thing was fucking terrible. They just used it against each other,” Keith sighed, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. 

“They would have never been together had they not have been soul mates. They shouldn't have been together. It… It was so terrible. The whole soul mates  _ thing _ is terrible. They were absolutely toxic for each other, and somehow they were literally born to be together,” Keith suddenly sat up straight, forcing out a short, harsh guffaw. 

“And then they decided to bring someone else into their hell! They constantly used me against each other, they just-” Keith took a moment to calm his breathing, chancing a glance at Shiro's face. The older looked shocked, but his eyes were soft and understanding. He was probably wondering why it took so long for Keith to tell him this. Why Keith couldn't just fucking say what was important instead of keeping things to himself. Living alone in his head and shutting down anyone who comes close. Keith put his head in his hands, unable to continue. He wasn't good with words; he wasn't good with emotions. Shiro knew that, and Keith felt the couch dip on the spot next to him. He could tell Shiro was still angry, but his little sudden burst of emotion seemed to subdue Shiro a little. 

“Keith that’s still not good enough. You cannot punish yourself for who your parents were. If fate wants you to meet your soulmate, who are you to fight it? You are not your parents” Shiro said sternly, and suddenly Keith felt that familiar fire of anger lick his veins. He'd just fucking poured his heart out and that's what Shiro has to say? That's how he decided to respond? It's not  _ good enough?! _

“Why did I think you'd fucking get it,” Keith spat, his hands sliding up into his hair and gripping it tightly. He stood up abruptly, hands still angrily gripping his hair, and started for the door. 

“Keith wai-”

Keith slammed the door shut. He angrily stomped his way out of the apartment building, passing the confused siblings on the way without saying anything. He could barely see through his rage. This was why he didn't open up. This was why he shut people down. Why expect anyone to understand his emotions when they were exactly that,  _ his _ emotions. Shiro couldn't possibly understand how fucking disgusting the whole soulmates fantasy was. He was too busy romanticizing his “perfect person” just like everyone else in the entire world was. Keith hated it. He hated it so much. 

Keith ripped his bike off of Shiro's car before quickly speeding away to the one place he knew would calm him down. The observatory. It was the only thing, aside from Shiro and his family, that Keith really missed when he left. It was a run down building with surprisingly high tech domed rooms. The facade of the building was just a plain white wall with a small earth painted on the corner, next to the words “Castle of Lions Observatory.” A cheesy cartoon lion showed its approval with a thumbs up right next to it exclaiming, “Shoot for the stars!”. The interior, on the other hand, was layered with the classic black and white of the universe and red plush seats that made him feel at home. It may have not been the newest or biggest observatory, but it sure made the stars that much closer. A gateway to where Keith really felt at home. It was simple and kind of awkward on the outside, but amazingly complicated on the inside. Keith felt that he could somehow relate to that.

Keith angrily stormed in, throwing the two dollar admission fee on the front desk, surprising the poor girl sitting there, and stomped to the first room he could get to. It ended up being Observatory room C, which specialized in constellations. Keith couldn't have been happier. He carefully sat himself down in a rickety chair in the center of the middle row. This was the best seat in any of the observatory rooms, because it was at the very center of the domed ceiling. If he squinted, he could almost pretend he was actually in space, millions of miles away from his pathetic problems. Here, he didn't have to worry about disappointing people. He didn't have to worry about soulmates or brothers or school or just living in general. He could get lost in the slowly rotating sky, pointing out all the constellations while still somehow discovering new ones. He'd been to this room a million times before, but they must have kept the databases incredibly updated because each time he saw a new cluster of stars that wasn't there before. The ceiling was so accurate Keith could have been fooled into thinking it was the real sky. 

He could get lost in it.

Now drained from his sudden outburst, Keith sagged into his seat, propping his feet on the chair in front of him. The stars were always something that calmed Keith. They inspired him. When he had first moved in with Shiro and discovered this place, he knew he'd hit the jackpot. He went here whenever he got upset, which happened to be often, and could always find solace in space. It was one of the reasons he decided to go into space architecture. He'd never been the best at math, so following Shiro's footsteps into astrophysics was ruled out. He loved space though, and everything about it, so he had to do  _ something _ with space for his future. That's when Shiro had told him about space architecture. It was a new field with only a handful of projects in the works. Altea University was one of the few that offered it as a program. Proportions and symmetry was something he could do. After humans had successfully landed on Kerberos, a whole new world of possibilities had opened up. This was Keith's chance to become more than just a statistic of the system. He was always doodling anyway, so he just turned his scribbles to detailed sketches of space ships, castles, and fortresses. It gave him hope for his future in space.

Keith was getting his sketchbook from his pocket when he thought he heard the soft click of the door behind him, but he ignored it. He flipped to the next blank page in his tiny, well-loved sketchbook, about to start sketching whatever came to mind when suddenly everything went red. He heard a gasp behind him, but all he could focus on was his wrist. There, flashing in anxious crimson, was his Soul Clock at a terrifying 0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds. 


	2. Soulmates And Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith meet. Shit goes down.

Keith's heart accelerated to an impossible speed. This couldn't be happening. Not now, not ever. He'd been avoiding this his entire life and now, when he’d been lost in the stars, the one thing that he found solace in, his nightmare had caught up to him. He hadn't even felt the itch on his wrist, it was just a sudden drop to zero that he'd never felt before. He'd never seen before. As if his Soulmate just, on random impulse, decided to go to the observatory last second. It hadn't been in their plan at all, and fate just decided it was sick of Keith running. From how many times Keith saw his timer getting close to zero, he and his soulmate were probably supposed to have been childhood friends. They were meant to grow up together, learn and love together, and now because of Keith, they were strangers. Keith couldn't look up, all Keith could see were those condemning numbers.

“YOU!” his supposed soulmate screamed from the entrance. His voice held a childish lilt, still deep with the baritone of being past puberty, but gentle. Despite himself, Keith felt as if he could listen to that voice read to him, even if it was filled with shock and anger as it was now.

Keith whipped his head up so quickly he thought he'd get whiplash. He was stunned to see who was standing in there with him. An exceptionally tall, lanky boy stared back at him in total shock. Eyes glued to each other, Keith couldn't help but notice his appearance. His charming brown hair was chopped into a spunky cut just above his ears, and his tan face was dotted with soft freckles. His eyes were wide and blue, glassy pools so emotive and deep Keith had to look away. He was adorned in a blue baseball tee, well-worn olive jacket, and scuffed converse. Everything about him screamed “in action”, just like the way he was practically vibrating with pent up emotion right now. The universe was definitely pulling a cruel joke on him because Keith didn't have a type, but he was sure if he did, this boy would be it. Keith shook himself out of that train of thought. This was the effect of soulmates turning complete strangers into  _ the one _ . This was what ruined his family, what was romanticized to sick extents in every form of media, what told kids how to grow up and that their only goal in life was to meet their soulmate. This was the evil of soulmates  _ physically _ affecting Keith, what he had always avoided, and so he swallowed the lump in his throat and shoved all of these boiling emotions away. Breaking their intense eye contact, Keith bolted from his seat. He heard the clatter of his sketchbook and pencils scattering on the ground, but that didn't matter to him right now. He just needed to get out of here. He needed to run.

“Oh no you fucking don't,” Keith's counterpart shouted while blocking the exit with his body. His long arms spread across the door frame with ease and his face stern with some form of anger Keith couldn't bear to look at. Keith skidded to a stop, nearly toppling over in front of his soulmate, and made a full 180 to get away. Why couldn't his soulmate have been extremely timid? Why couldn't Keith had just not come to the observatory today? Why didn't he feel the itch? Why didn't he look at his clock like he had neurotically done for years? Why was his soulmate here? Why did he have to even exist? 

“I swear to god you better get back here! You've been avoiding me for too long to pull this shit again.”

“S-stop! Get away from me!” Keith shrieked as his soulmate got too close, his long fingers nearly gripping the leather of Keith's jacket. All that could be heard were the squeak of sneakers and both of their gasping. The two destined to be together were scrambling around the small room, jumping over seats and dashing across the aisles. Keith saw his chance when his soulmate entered the rows of seats right after him instead of sticking to the walkways in between as he had been. Keith ran so fast he could feel wind blowing his hair back. As he was about to reach his freedom, he heard an infuriated shout from behind him. 

“Aren't you forgetting something, asshole?” his soulmate yelled, clutching one of Keith's most precious personal belongings. His sketchbook. 

“Give that back right now,” Keith fumed. His sketchbook was like an extension of himself. Another arm, a part of his hand. He was never without it and he was absolutely not going to lose it just because of his soulmate. He definitely should've put more thought into his escape plan.

“Come and get it,” the other punctuated with a harsh laugh as he ran in the opposite direction. Keith knew it was a trap, but he couldn't just walk away from a challenge like that. He'd wipe that cocky smirk off his face no matter what it took. His soulmate yelped as Keith leaped over the seating area to cut him off.

“If you don't give that back right now, I'll have to resort to more extreme measures,” Keith warned, his heart racing and his face red from exertion.

“More extreme than leaving me hanging for over 8 years and instilling constant self doubt into me? Nah, I don't think so.”

_ Ouch _ . Keith's self-loathing rose up and matched his frustration with this whole situation. He felt a physical pain in his chest, an aching, a longing, that wasn't there before. It was foreign and desperate, and it rivaled Keith's current self-hatred so much he felt as if he could collapse. This wasn't right. He shouldn't feel this much. He shouldn't feel unwanted the way he does now. Unwanted by his soulmate. He was somehow feeling the sparks of his soulmate’s emotions. It was beginning. 

Why wouldn't his soulmate just let him go if he was aware of how awful soulmates were? Did he even know soulmates were terrible or was he just another brainwashed doll like everyone else? Keith growled, irritated beyond belief, and ran an exasperated hand through his bangs. He might not have wanted to interact with his soulmate whatsoever, but he wasn't leaving without his belongings. He tried to gain the advantage of surprise, suddenly gave himself a running start and charging for the book, and it actually worked. The other's shout was cut off as the wind was literally knocked right out of him. Keith was proud of himself for tackling him to the ground so easily, but he didn't account for the angled floor. They went tumbling down painfully while still scuffling for the damn sketchbook. At the bottom of the observatory floor, Keith's soulmate had curled in on himself cradling the book to his chest. Keith tried everything he could to get the boy to loosen his grip. 

“No! Stop! Fuck no!” He yelled every time Keith reached for him. Keith huffed in embarrassment from all the physical contact. Each tug and push had Keith's heart in his throat. Even through their clothes Keith could feel this boy's warmth. He could feel the heat of his soulmate and it just made him more real, more  _ alive. _ This was the person Keith was born to be with. His forever person. He was here, tangled and fighting with the person he was supposed to marry, to live with, love with, spend their forever together. The idea had Keith's head spinning, so he tried to focus on the task at hand: get his sketchbook back. 

He was practically straddling the other from behind and couldn't imagine what someone would think if they happened to walk in right now. Keith kept feeling these foreign emotions rattling about his conscience, almost as if they were radiating off of him. They swirled in his chest, tumultuous and aching. Normal emotions didn't feel like this. He always knew of soulmates sharing their emotions, he'd witnessed it, but he never imagined it’d feel like this. Keith's discomfort with this revelation turned his movements sluggish, as Keith tried harder and harder to avoid touching this boy. The intense feelings of sadness and desperation clawed through him, leaving quakes of searing  _ hurt _ . It made Keith realize there was an actual person on the other side of his Soul Clock. He wasn't just his evil soulmate, made to ruin Keith's life. He was a tangible person with real feelings that Keith had been disregarding his entire life. The numbers on his wrist that ticked down to his doom had been ticking down to someone else's dream, and every narrow escape on Keith's part had been a heartbreak for this boy. He knew he was being selfish with every move, but to see it manifest in front of him in the pain in his soulmate’s eyes almost made Keith nauseous. This was the result of him.

Keith tried to snap himself out of his thoughts and noticed that they'd come to an eventual standstill. The other was breathing heavily underneath him, Keith's legs on either side of the boy's hips. The latter's eyes were open and staring off in the distance while his ears were a pretty pink.

“Do you feel that?” The boy inquired.

“Yeah,” Keith breathed out. He didn't have the capacity for a better answer.

“You think it's a soulmate thing?”

“Probably.”

The boy squirmed, most likely feeling Keith's shame and frustration. Keith was frozen in place feeling this alien presence in his body. He'd thought there'd be a lot more anger, but it seemed to be fizzling out. As they both calmed down, all that was really left from his soulmate was the lingering sorrow and, now, fear. Fear of what? What did this boy have to possibly fear when Keith was the one that just had his worst nightmare smack him in the face? Such expeditious emotions shocked Keith, and he dared a glance at the other's face. The boy looked so calm that there was no way he could have such emotional turmoil. 

“Why are you so scared?” Keith whispered, and his voice cracked embarrassingly. The boy bristled.

“Why don't I ask you why you hate me so much instead?”

His soulmate’s stone frigid expression had Keith wanting to curl into himself, as if with one look he'd been chastised. He peeled himself off this stranger and sat near him instead, his knees pulled to his chest. The boy hadn't moved and was still splayed out across the floor like a ragdoll. It was a huge contrast from how lively he was earlier, and despite himself, Keith felt himself wanting to do anything to stop his soulmate from looking like this.

“What? I- it's just… So like not particularly you but--” Keith trailed off, unable to explain how he felt. He never could. He was always trapped in himself, completely lost as to how he could connect with those around him. His soulmate still hadn't deigned to look at him. 

“You should… you know, be able to feel that I don't hate you,” Keith tried to convince his soulmate. It didn't even sound convincing to him.

“Does that mean you're sticking around?”

“Uh well… I-I'm not like… _sticking_ _around_ I'm just-- I'm attending school here,” Keith paused and took a breath, “but...um don't expect me to like…just don't expect much from me. Soulmates are-- I just...” Keith sighed, running his hand through his bangs again, gripping onto them as if that would make it easier to talk to this boy. He was his soulmate, right? Shouldn't it be easier to just speak to him? 

“I don't think about soulmates the way everyone else does. I-I know that must suck for you but… I just don't believe in soulmates, okay?” 

“Can you at least give this a chance? Jesus, all I'm asking is for you to maybe spend some time with me. I'd like to be your friend first, so don't worry, no commitment. Just get to know me before you judge if I'm worth your time,” he huffed out.

Keith felt himself start to close off at this. He was angry, but he wasn't angry, or he didn't know what to be angry at. He felt like he was suffocating, and the once comforting room with endless starts was now just a dome he was trapped in. Even amidst the stars, Keith couldn't run away far enough. “I--uh--well… I don't know. I can't-- I can't think right now. I don't want to think about this…” Keith sighed for what seemed like the millionth time. “I know… I've had plenty of time to sort my thoughts, but I just-- I just need space. I can't… It's just complicated.”

“Do you think I'll always feel your mortification with me now that we've met?” His soulmate wondered out loud while staring at the star-covered ceiling. Keith could feel his cheeks and neck flush, which made him feel even more mortified. In a twisted way, his soulmate understood him.

“Maybe if we hadn't been touching so much, you'd feel it less,” Keith muttered, keeping his gaze down. He couldn't bare to face this situation anymore. He'd never wanted to face it in the first place. He didn't even have time to prepare himself for this, though he was sure he could have lived the rest of his life without meeting his soulmate and never have been prepared.  The boy turned to face him for the first time since their wrestling match and scoffed.

“Whose fault was that?”

This entire day was adding up to be the most embarrassing day of Keith's life. He rolled his eyes and fidgeted with his fingers. 

“Well I'm not the asshole who takes what doesn't belong to him,” Keith shot back quietly. He was ignored. 

“You know what though? I don't feel it as much anymore. Weird,” The boy commented with his hand cupping his chin and thumb resting on his lips.

“Touch must make this… sharing emotions thing a lot stronger than usual then,” Keith mumbled. His counterpart finally stood up and cracked his back. They were both going to have ridiculous bruises after today.

“Man, today has been so dramatic. First, my friend's brother’s roommate's adopted brother or whatever goes missing and cancels all our plans, then we have to split up and look all over town for him because he just moved here, and now, I've met and even fought my fucking soulmate.”

Keith's entire body went rigid, and his blood went cold under his skin. That sounded way too familiar. This couldn't seriously be happening. Sure, Keith knew that going with Shiro to meet his friends drastically dropped the numbers on his Soul Clock, but he didn't think his soulmate  _ was _ his friend. This was Keith's worst case scenario.

“I was assigned this part of town but got really bored, so I thought I'd visit the observatory since that's always fun,” The other laughed to himself, “Wait till Pidge and Hunk hear about this.”

_ Yep, definitely a worst case scenario _ . 

Keith stood up slowly, his eyes flicking from the ceiling to the floor to anywhere that was not the other boy. His legs throbbed and he rubbed his elbow where he was sure there was already a bruise forming. 

“Wow I didn't ask for your life story,” Keith said sarcastically but with no real bite. He was too anxious for that. 

“ _ That _ was rude,” The other accented his words by pointing his finger at Keith, his eyebrows raised and his lips pursed. Of course Keith's soulmate would be as defensive as him. Keith exhaled in annoyance. 

“Are you at least polite enough for an introduction?”The other pouted. 

Keith was not excited to reveal any information about himself, but after that fiasco, he thought he might owe the other at least his name. His name couldn't hurt, right? He felt his gut twist. It was still unbelievable that he was here, standing in front if his soulmate. Suddenly Keith wasn't sure if he could reveal his name. Sure, it wouldn't hurt, but names lead to familiarity. Names were things to remember, names gave meaning. Keith swallowed hard and leaned against the wall, his head back and facing the stars. 

“... I'm Keith….”

It was as if Keith's mouth moved on its own, forming his name and betraying Keith to an unforgivable extent. He almost wanted to childishly cover his ears just to avoid the other inevitably giving his name. Keith didn't want it. He didn't want a reason to remember. He didn't want a label to the face staring right back at him to be forever ingrained into his mind. He'd know  _ the name of his soulmate _ , something that people around him all his life fantasized about.

“What a pleasure it was to meet you,” his soulmate grumbled sarcastically, “My name's Lance.”

Keith stumbled back slightly at this. He hoped the other hadn't noticed. Keith's eyes were glued to the floor, wide and expressive. Lance.  _ Lance. _ That was the name he was supposed to love.  _ Lance _ was the man he was meant to be with. The person he'd been avoiding for years. 

Lance punctuated his statement with a smirk and an eyebrow wiggle. Keith couldn't help the scoff that flew from his mouth.  _ Who the hell was this guy _ ? 

Lance laughed in response to Keith's incredulous look. The sound wasn't light and romantic like in the movies. It was deep and guttural, coming from Lance’s stomach and shaking his whole body. If they were different people, Keith would have loved it. Keith finally looked up at Lance, secretly hoping to get a glimpse of that laugh in action, only to see Lance flipping through his beloved sketchbook. He felt his anger rise immediately. No one had ever seen his sketchbook, not even Shiro. 

“St--stop looking at it!” Keith shouted as he reached to grab his sketchbook out of those greedy hands. Lance was tall enough to smoothly maneuver it over Keith's head and out of reach.

“Hey hey hey. These aren't bad. No need to be ashamed, my dearest soulmate-o-mine. There seems to be a lot of technical drawings though, you into architecture or something?”

“Fuck off those are personal, so would you mind giving it back  _ please _ ?” Keith huffed, stressing the word ‘please’ sarcastically.

“Yeah, alright alright. You seem like the kind of guy who keeps a lot to himself. Oh! That's why you don't like soulmates huh? Too much revealed and all that jazz,” Lance said while handing the book over to Keith. He was so relieved, cradling the book to his chest. He wanted to punch this  _ Lance _ for not only stealing his sketchbook, but then having the audacity to look through it. Keith had to take a few deep breaths to calm himself, the feeling of the soft leather of his sketchbook under his fingers reassuring. He turned to Lance once again, his face cold and reserved. With the sketchbook no longer occupying his hands, Lance began immediately fidgeting and gesturing to express himself. Keith didn't understand how, but he could feel that Lance was acting more nonchalant about Keith not trusting soulmates than he really felt.

“Don't just sum me up like that when you don't even know me,” Keith started, spitting his words with such venom he shocked himself. He did run away from his soulmate his entire life, but it was the truth when he said he didn't hate Lance. He couldn't let his selfish and reticent nature lash out and hurt Lance again. He would feel the pain of it as well. Keith bit his lip, breathing deeply through his nose. He didn't need to be so worked up.

“Soulmates… They dictate how you live your entire life and how you're supposed to feel all the time. How can people really  _ live _ like that?" Keith said fanatically. “I'm just fine on my own. Soulmates can be so destructive, I've seen it. I-I've lived it. And the sharing emotions shit that just happened, it's fucking terrible just--” Keith cut himself off, feeling his eyes sting and his throat swell. In one day, he had to explain himself to two separate people after years of never telling anyone. This abrupt change made Keith nervous; he felt exposed and raw under outside scrutiny. With Shiro he didn't have to worry much about judgement, but with Lance….they were strangers, and having to explain that he basically hated the idea of their possible future relationship and crushing any hope of their happy ever after straight to Lance’s face was too much. Keith's breath felt uneven and he shoved his hands in his pockets just so he'd stop indulging in his nervous tick of finger fidgeting. Lance stared at him with a puzzled look on his elvish face. The residual hurt still radiated off of the boy, stinging at the tips of Keith's own emotions. Keith didn't really know what to do with that. 

Noticing that Keith wasn't going to continue, Lance broke the silence. “I don't know….it sounds kinda nice to know that someone in this world is willing to like you. Hopefully. Rejection hurts just as much as any fight with a loved one so it's all the same I guess,” Lance laughed awkwardly, scratching his neck. Keith felt a pang of more self-loathing rattle in his chest, and this time he wasn't sure if it came from him or Lance.  _ It sounds kinda nice to know that someone in this world is willing to like you.  _ Lance hadn't said love, hadn't said spend the rest of their life with, no, Lance said someone willing to like you. Keith couldn't stop himself from feeling bad once more. He was depriving Lance of not just his forever person, but his forever friend. He deserved better than that.

With Lance averting his gaze, Keith ignored his inner upset and finally found the courage to take his time observing his soulmate. Gangly limbs akimbo and perfect, clear skin dusted with soft freckles made Lance out to be a rather unique individual. His nose was sharp and slightly upturned, while his jawline was defined and angular. His golden skin stretched across his long limbs so elegantly he looked like carved marble. The long column of his neck was smooth and narrow, contrasting from his broad shoulders. Swimmer's shoulders. The gentle pink from his ears had spread across his cheeks, and Keith couldn't help but find it rather endearing. Lance's features were so expressive and Keith thought that even though their bond made them feel each other's emotions, he probably didn't actually need it to read Lance’s. Meanwhile his own emotions were so stunted and irregular that he often couldn't even sort them out, let alone express them.  _ They were polar opposites _ . 

“I'm sorry…” Keith said quietly, looking up through his overgrown bangs. Lance sighed. 

“It's okay. I know you don't really mean it,”, Lance suddenly looked up, “Well uh I mean….I know what you're trying to really say….not that you don't mean your distrust of soulmates; you were  _ very _ clear on that.”

Lance's lips thinned out into a solid line in dissatisfaction with how he expressed himself. Keith nodded in understanding; he knew how it was to stumble over what he truly meant. He was going to apologize again as for some reason he felt like he should. His lips were already forming the word when a shrill noise suddenly rang out from Lance’s back pocket. It was some pop song that Keith vaguely recognized, and he almost cringed.

“Nice ringtone,” Keith commented, a snide smirk gracing his lips. Lance rolled his eyes and briefly raised a finger -- Keith chose to ignore that -- as he answered the call.

“... Hello?”

Deafening shouts blew out of the speaker not even two seconds after he finished the greeting and the sheer volume made Lance rip the phone from his ear. Keith almost pitied the other as he watched Lance wince. It was so loud Keith could hear every word from where he was.

“Lance where the  _ hell _ are you?! You were supposed to be back an hour ago. What have you been doing?! Shiro is seriously starting to panic, and I don't think we can keep him here any longer. He's pissed, like really pissed, but like worried-pissed? It's kind of scary; he's in like full on Dad Mode. You better get your ass over here and help calm Shiro or I swear to g--”

Keith snatched the phone right out of Lance's hand before he could even think to reply and grumbled into the phone, “Hey it's Keith. Tell Shiro I'm fine, I just went to observatory to calm down. I think my phone was on silent,” Keith pulled the device out of his pocket to a flashing twelve missed calls and twenty-three texts, “Yeah it was on silent. I'll apologize to him later, but right now I just need some space. I'm sorry I inconvenienced you guys with my brother's Dad Mode.”

Keith turned his mouth away from the speaker and spoke to Lance, “....did you walk here?”

“I uh….yeah I did.”

He could feel Lance's eyes burning a hole into his back. He could almost hear the gears turning in the other's head at the word “brother.” When Keith returned to the conversation, he could hear some sort of commotion in the background. He cleared his throat to let Pidge know someone was on the phone again, and tried hard to speak without his voice shaking, “I'm going to give Lance a ride home, so I'll just uh….see you guys tomorrow… Or sometime, uh, yeah okay bye.”

He ended the call as soon as he finished his sentence, too afraid to hear how Pidge would respond. He'd only just met her a couple hours ago, but he'd already started to value her opinion of him. She was obviously a good friend of Shiro's, and Keith didn't want to mess up his relationship with his brother even more by making his friends hate him. As he turned to face Lance, he was greeted with complete disbelief. Lance must've felt incredibly wary of him after all the melodrama of their meeting and Keith's rough attitude. The fact that they had mutual acquaintances was also mind-blowing and awkward. Keith was the reason Lance even showed up at the observatory in a way. He really didn't blame him for being so out of sorts; he was just as wary of Lance if he were to be completely honest.

“Y--you can tell me where you live on the way….”

Lance shook himself out of his stupor and nodded slightly. Keith's insides rolled over in anxiety. More physical contact was in store. As in, more opportunity to feel Lance's emotions full on, and to have his own exposed and bare in front of Lance.Why did he think it was a good idea to suggest driving Lance? Didn't he just want to get out of this stupid fucking situation? Keith sighed and picked up all his possessions. He could hear Lance's quiet footsteps behind him and the jingling of his keys as he pulled them out of his pocket. 

“You aren't afraid of bikes, right?” Keith asked without looking at Lance, just walking mindlessly to the front. 

“... No? Oh my god please tell me you have a motorcycle. That's so fitting! Your mullet practically screams ‘grunge boy who rides motorcycles,’” Lance laughed, only making Keith whip his head around to glare at him. It was a bit difficult to do when Lance looked so radiant in his laughter. 

“I'm  _ not _ grunge! Why does everyone keep calling me that?” Keith asked exasperatedly, ripping his keys from his pocket. “And no, it's a motorbike not a motorcycle,” Keith corrected as his red bike came into view. 

“Same difference. I mean look at that thing, it's just a mini-motorcycle,” Lance said, gesturing towards the red Honda PCX parked in the corner of the parking lot. 

“She's not a  _ thing _ . She's  _ Rosette,  _ and if you want a ride, you will treat her with respect,” Keith shook his head, stopping abruptly before he sat himself on the bike. He didn't have an extra helmet. He grabbed the helmet hanging off the handlebars and tossed it to Lance. The other caught it easily, his reflexes faster than Keith had anticipated. 

“Rosette? Really? I mean I guess it's cute but--wait, where is your helmet?” Lance bent at the waist to look at Keith who was now straddling his bike. Keith just shrugged, looking down so his hair hid his face. 

“I only have one. Get on or I'm leaving without you,” Keith muttered, turning the key in the ignition. He felt Lance hesitate a moment, but was quickly welcomed with an insistent warmth behind his back. As soon as they started rolling, Keith felt like his ribs would be crushed from Lance holding on so tight. He wanted to laugh but could only swallow a lump in his throat instead. He could feel Lance's heartbeat against his back, somehow through Lance's hoodie and Keith's own leather jacket. Lance rested the side of his face on Keith's back to hide himself from the howling wind. They were touching so much, Lance pressed entirely to Keith's back, and that alone sent electric shocks through Keith. He knew that soulmates got a special tingling sensation when they touched, and he'd felt it earlier, but this was just….intense. On top of that, Lance's emotions were flooding into Keith. He wanted it to stop. He wanted to pull the bike over and run. Away from Lance, from his never-ending stream of unadulterated emotion. Away from his inevitable conversation with Shiro and having to reveal that his brother's long time friend was the person Keith had molded his life around not meeting. He could feel everything from Lance. He could feel his fear of crashing, his fear of touching, his excitement for their touching, his excitement for meeting Keith, and a million other emotions that Keith couldn't exactly name. It was overwhelming and it made Keith's head spin. He wondered what was flowing from him into Lance, and that only made him more apprehensive about their predicament. He didn't want Lance to feel what he was feeling. 

“Make a left at the end of the street, and stop feeling so grumpy. It's making me grumpy,” Lance said rather loudly to be heard over the wind. Keith repressed a shiver at the voice being so close to his ear as goosebumps erupted all over his skin and rolled his eyes. 

“I'm  _ not grumpy _ …”, Keith shouted back, his nerves catching on Lance's. Lance didn't like feeling “grumpy” and Keith could feel it. Keith didn't like Lance feeling Keith's grumpiness and Keith could feel it. It was weird, and Keith didn't understand how people got used to this, wanted this. 

“Yeah okay Mr. Teen Angst. Make a right here and then go straight for a little while,” Lance instructed, and Keith decided to just stay quiet and drive where Lance told him to go. He couldn't focus on yelling at Lance and Lance's arms around his waist  _ and _ driving all at the same time. Not to mention the kid's emotions. Each and every emotion was so strong it nearly winded Keith, and he didn't understand how someone felt so passionate about every little thing. 

“We're almost there, just make a right at the stop sign,” Lance said a little quieter now that they were slowing down. Keith just nodded, not trusting his voice. Lance didn't want to leave. Keith could feel it. Keith almost panicked, knowing exactly what Lance was feeling and the subtle determination settling in his bones. Lance was going to make up an excuse to stay, to have Keith stay, just something so they didn't have to separate. Keith felt anxiety rush through him. 

“It's right he--whoa, are you okay?” Lance asked, the genuine concern not only in his voice but also flowing directly into Keith through their touch making Keith dizzy. He nearly made them topple over with how suddenly he stopped in front of Lance's house. 

“Yeah I'm fine,” Keith spoke so fast his words ran together. He kept his head down, gripping the handlebars of his bike for dear life as Lance got off.  He needed to leave. 

“Okay…” Lance started, clearly not believing Keith even when they weren't touching anymore, “Uhm… here's your helmet,” Lance's voice was timid and unsure. The constant rush of emotions finally ended, and Keith could only feel the slightest sparks of Lance's disappointment now that they weren't touching. Keith muttered a quiet ‘thanks’ while taking the helmet and putting it on. 

“So um….do you want to--” 

“I have to call Shiro. He's really pissed right now. I--ah, sorry I have to go,” Keith rushed as he put his helmet on. “Nice to meet you, Lance.” The words tasted artificial on Keith's tongue but he kept his eyes down and turned the key in the ignition anyway. He sped away before Lance could say anything else, not even bothering to turn his head and look back at his soulmate. He felt his stomach twist up into his chest and suddenly it was hard to breath. He rode his bike until the cold turned his bare knuckles pink and the whipping wind drowned out his racing heart beat. 

**************

Keith didn't call Shiro. He knew he should. He knew he was being a bad brother sending a quick “I'm alive went home” text instead of calling, explaining, but he just couldn't deal with it all. He didn't want to have to tell Shiro and relive meeting his soulmate. He just wanted to sleep. 

By the time Keith got home it was around 3 a.m. He had to get gas but his desire to pass out on his mattress on the floor outweighed everything else. Keith felt numb. 

On his drive he'd gotten to know the layout of the town a little better, and even discovered a cute little coffee shop called ‘Arus Espresso’ that he would definitely visit tomorrow. It was close to the university and he knew he'd need the caffeine once he started school. Keith glanced at his heavy textbooks sprawled on the floor as he entered his apartment but felt nothing. No excitement, no dread. All he could think about was Lance and his stupid voice and his stupid face. Was it like this for everyone who met their soulmate? Did they all replay the moment it happened in their head until it no longer made sense, just a blur of voices and colors? Keith let out an irritated grunt as he threw his helmet on the floor next to his textbooks. He fell lifelessly onto his mattress and curled into himself. He didn't have a comforter, just a thin throw blanket and a flat pillow. He needed to go furniture shopping, but he needed money first. Keith made a mental note to go job hunting before falling into a dreamless sleep. 

The next day Keith awoke to blaring car horns just out his window. He groaned, rubbing his eyes and checking the time. 7:05 a.m. He rolled off his mattress onto the cold floor. The car alarms hadn't stopped, but Keith knew even if they did, he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. The unforgiving iciness of the floor pushed Keith to get up and get dressed. He'd fallen asleep in his jeans and decided that today was going to be a sweatpants day based on that fact. He slid on his old black joggers and a flimsy T-shirt that had a faded picture of The Beatles on the front. His hair was a mess and even after he brushed it, it still stuck up in different directions, so he pulled it back into a low ponytail. Once he was dressed and had nothing else to do, Keith braved looking through his messages. 15 new messages from Shiro, 1 message from an unknown number, and 6 missed calls. 

**[Shiro: 11:46 pm]**

**Good to know you didn't crash your bike and die. Please call me.**

Keith groaned. He knew he was in deep shit when Shiro suddenly started texting properly instead of abbreviations. 

**[Shiro: 11:58 pm]**

**Hello???? Just one text and you're ignoring me again???**

**[Shiro: 12:13 am]**

**Keith are you serious**

**[Shiro: 12:44 am]**

**Okay I'm gonna murder you**

**[Shiro: 12: 56 am]**

**So Pidge just called me and said she had a really interesting conversation with Lance**

**[Shiro: 1:02 am]**

**That's why you're not answering**

**[Shiro: 1:46 am]**

**Did you ride all around town like an emo kid in an indie movie**

**[Shiro: 1:46 am]**

**I bet you did**

**[Shiro: 2:10 am]**

**Keith please call me**

**[Shiro: 2:11 am]**

**Keeeiiiittthhhh**

**[Shiro: 2:15 am]**

**KeeeeeeeeIIIIITTTTTHHH**

Keith scrolled through the rest of the messages, each one just a different variation of capitalization in his name. He felt bad, Shiro had been genuinely worried and Keith just ignored him. He felt even worse when he noticed a message from an unknown number that turned out to be Pidge. Shiro must have given it to her, and Keith felt his guilt quickly eat away at him as he opened it.

**[222-xxx-xxxx: 12:15 am]**

**Hey it’s Pidge. I bet that you’re fine and Shiro is just paranoid because he’s worried, so please just call him. Or me. Or anyone. Like it or not you’re a part of the group now. Brother and soulmate included. Don’t be shy!**

Keith nearly dropped his phone. He’d almost forgotten about what happened yesterday, ignoring the ache in his body and the very ugly bruise on his elbow to do so. He would never escape this though, and he couldn’t just pretend to forget about it. Not when his soulmate was apparently best friends with his brother and just about everyone else Keith had been introduced to. Keith was being inducted into a group with his soulmate and he had no control over it. He could make new friends, only hanging out with Shiro alone, but he knew that wouldn’t work out. Besides, he’d actually really started to like Pidge and Matt in their short time together yesterday, and he didn’t want to cut them out of his life just because they were friends with Lance. He was tired of depriving himself of friends and happiness because he was running away from the inevitable. Keith had already met Lance anyway, the worst was over. He had told Lance not to expect anything from him, so as long as Lance was civil, Keith could be too. He had to be. He wasn’t running anymore. Keith took a deep breath and hit redial on his phone. 

“Keit-KEITH,” Shiro’s voice was groggy and laced with sleep. Keith glanced at the time on his stove as he shuffled to the kitchen. It was only 7:30, Shiro had probably stayed up all night worrying about Keith and then Keith just woke him up. He ignored Shiro until he wanted to talk and Shiro still picked up immediately. Keith felt guilty.

“Hey Shiro… Uh, so a lot… happened yesterday. I’m sorry for igno-”

“Yeah yeah, ‘for ignoring you and riding around like an emo all night instead, for not going out to eat yesterday, and for being a big ass to the greatest big brother in the history of the world,’” Shiro raised his voice slightly, mockingly mimicking Keith’s voice. “Does that sound about right?” Keith breathed a chuckle despite himself. 

“I wouldn’t have worded it that way but yeah, that’s about right.” At least Shiro didn’t seem mad, as much as Keith didn’t want to admit it, Shiro was probably used to this kind of behavior from him. 

“So you are alive and safe and didn’t ride your bike off a cliff in despair about meeting your soulmate, right?”

Keith groaned into the phone, running a hand through his bangs. 

“Don’t remind me.”

“Whaaat? I mean I know you’ve been avoiding this literally your entire life but it’s not so bad. I’m actually a little jealous you got to meet him so young. And it’s Lance! Oh man, I’ve known him for a while and I never would have guessed-”

“Okay okay, please stop now! I-I just… yeah I don’t know how to deal with this, like at all. I don’t… I don’t know what to do,” Keith’s voice was small, and he was reminded of when they were kids and he had to admit to Shiro that his black eye came from a bully and not the doorknob like he’d told their mother. Shiro went and beat the hell out of that kid after that, but the bullying didn’t really stop. The kids never stopped antagonizing Keith with racial slurs or stopped throwing his gym shoes in the trash, but the fights did lessen. Keith was still grateful to Shiro for that. 

“Hey, it’ll be fine. I know that it’s a lot for you right now and you weren’t ready, but I promise it’ll be okay. Lance can be an ass sometimes, but he's probably one of the most genuinely nice people I have ever met, so if you just explain this to him he’ll give you space,” Shiro’s voice was warm and kind, and somehow it made Keith already feel slightly better. 

“Are you sure? What if I need a lot of time? Like… forever a lot of time?" Keith asked shakily, his hands unsteady as he poured himself a bowl of cereal.

“Whatever you need, I know he will be considerate about. But you have to be considerate too Keith, just think about it from his side. He has been excited to meet you since he was a kid, and when his clock went down a few days ago right after you moved here, I’ve never seen him so happy,” Shiro said quietly, and Keith could hear some shuffling in the background. Keith wanted to punch himself in the face. He already felt guilty enough about ignoring Shiro, and now this was making him want to just sink into the floor and never get up.

“Hey, I bet all you have is cereal, right?" Shiro suddenly asked, ripping Keith from his thoughts. 

“Uh… yeah?" Keith answered suspiciously, his hand poised just over the milk carton in the fridge. 

“I knew it. Okay come over here right now I’m making you breakfast,” Shiro said with a tone of finality.

“Wait wha-”

“I expect to see you in twenty minutes okay bye! Drive safe!” The line went dead. Keith took a moment to realize what Shiro had said, and then closed the fridge. No matter how much Keith wanted out of this awkwardness, he knew he had to go. He'd already disrespected Shiro immensely by the stunt he pulled last night. Keith didn't bother to change into anything nicer but still grabbed his favorite leather jacket. He wasn't trying to conform to his ‘grunge’ stereotype or whatever, but it really was a damn good jacket. He left the cereal on the counter for later, which probably meant weeks from now, and headed out the door with a grumbling stomach. As hungry as he was now, he could definitely wait a little bit longer for Shiro's excellent cooking.

To prevent his nerves from shaking his hands off the bike handles, Keith started counting cars out of the corner of his eye. Only red ones because they were his favorite color. Obviously. Counting things always helped calm him down. It was something to focus his mind on when his thoughts were so rattled and incoherent. He could clear the crashing trains of thought with just calming one, two, three…. It provided a safe place in the eye of the storm through every adversity. Whether it be stars, people, or cracks in the pavement, counting kept him distracted and calm. Keith could admit he had quite the temper and needed all the help he could get to manage himself, even if it was as simple as counting. His uncontrollable fury had gotten him into ridiculous amounts of trouble when he was younger and still lead him to make irrational and stupid decisions from time to time. He'd learned better management skills as he got older, and it wasn't as if his anger made him violent and dangerous. His anger was more of a severe frustration, where his emotions boiled inside him until they spilled in the forms of punching walls or getting in fights. His capacity for empathy and over thinking drove him mad until his body had to lash out to deal with the chaos inside. He knew that he'd likely gotten this trait from his father, and his tendency to cry when he was too angry was from his mother. It made him feel weak; as if he had no control over his body. It made him sick every time he thought about it. He couldn't be like them, and he worked everyday to better himself. Like now, he knew he wouldn't have faced Shiro when he was younger after something like this. He would've run away as far as possible until Shiro would find him hiding and make it all better. Shiro was so undoubtedly responsible and kind it blew Keith's mind how he could be so understanding and in control all the time. Even when Shiro was extremely emotional, it still felt justified and temporary. Keith's emotional moments, on the other hand, were like an unstoppable forest fire. Gobbling up everything in its path and destroying its vessel. Always extremely overheated. His anger was somehow tangible, and his emotions vengeful for always being put on the back burner. Keith never dealt with what he was feeling until it forced him to. He just didn't know how to, and he knew that he could learn a lot from Shiro in that respect. If he hadn't left five years ago he could have been around Shiro much longer, learned from him and absorbed his wisdom. But Keith had been an idiot. All he could do now was try to make it better, and so he was going to face Shiro. 

Keith took a deep breath, preparing himself before knocking on Shiro's door. Almost instantly the door swung open, revealing a chipper Shiro and a very tired looking Matt behind him. Keith could see his eyebags from the doorway. They were both clad in pajamas and bedhead, though Matt's hair looked considerably worse off than Shiro's.

“Good morning little bro!" Shiro practically sang, stepping aside to let Keith in. Matt just waved to him, his mouth too occupied with yawning to actually say anything. Keith felt bad. He'd woken both of them up. 

“Uh, good morning I guess,” Keith spoke softly, running a hand through his bangs. 

“We already got breakfast started, so just go take a seat at the table. We have  _ a lot _ to talk about,” Shiro said with a humorous lilt in his voice. Keith groaned. 

**“Yeah, we do.” **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally can add the coauthor Warmpages! We worked a lot on this one, and with finals and AP tests coming up we're sorry for the late update.  
> We hope you guys like it! Thank you so much for all the nice and supportive feedback also. We really truly appreciate it and live for it.


	3. Coffee Stains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance get some closure. Delicious breakfast and angsty coffee. Lots of dialogue.

Apparently “talking” meant Shiro and Matt interrogating Keith across the breakfast table. After Keith had settled in and made proper good mornings with Matt and Shiro, Shiro immediately sat Keith down at the head of the table. He forced him down with guiding hands on his shoulders and a smile on his face. Keith immediately knew he was in trouble. Luckily, despite the intimidating atmosphere, the older two saved their questions for when the food was ready. With a giant plate of pancakes, sausage, and eggs spread on the mahogany table in front of him, Keith had at least a little of a distraction. After the initial silence of the group of boys digging into their food, Matt was the first to speak. 

 

“So,” Matt abruptly began, his head resting on the palm of his hand mischievously, “did you think he was cute?” 

 

There was another beat of silence before Keith bloomed a vibrant red, starting from his cheeks all the way down to his neck. Shiro chuckled, almost choking on his sausage. Keith glared, turning his attention towards his brother and away from the smug looking Matt. 

 

“I could say so many things to you right now,” Keith sneered, glancing at the half-bitten sausage hanging sadly from Shiro’s fork. Matt’s soft laughter could be heard in the background, but Keith’s focus was on Shiro.

 

“You should respect your elders, boy,” Shiro said in a mock stern voice, pointing at Keith with his sausage-clad fork.

 

“Okay, okay, that was cute and all, but stop avoiding the question, Keithy,” Matt started, glaring right through Keith with a knowing look. Keith bristled at the stupid nickname but chose to ignore it. He glanced to Shiro for help, but all he saw was another knowing look. Why ask when they both already knew?

 

“Uh,” Keith set his own fork down in favor of fidgeting with his fingers, “Uuuuummm…” Keith looked anywhere but at the two staring at him. He felt that his face was hot, and wished he had a way to escape this nightmare. Keith didn't think he'd ever be ready to talk about what happened. 

 

“We talked to Lance and--”

 

“Wait what did he say?!” Keith interrupted Matt, his head snapping up. 

 

“Whoa there, calm down. He didn’t say anything, that’s why we’re asking you. He did seem a bit upset though, sooooo what did you do?” Shiro blatantly stated, clearly making it an assumption and not a question. Keith sputtered for a moment, leaning in his chair to get just a little distance between him and his interrogators. 

 

“I didn’t do anything…” Keith defended quietly, keeping his eyes anywhere but the other boys. He heard Shiro’s disappointed sigh, and waited for the inevitable admonishing. 

 

“That’s probably why he’s upset.”

 

Keith felt his stomach twist. He’d already felt guilty enough on his own, he didn’t need Matt and Shiro’s help. There was a pregnant pause, and Keith could feel the heavy weight of Shiro and Matt’s curious gazes. 

 

Keith snapped.

 

He slammed his elbows on the table with his head in his hands, rattling the plates set there. He could hear the other two’s surprised gasps, but he couldn’t look up. He could even feel himself shaking.

 

“He’s fucking  _ perfect _ guys. I only met him for a little yesterday and it was enough,” Keith rambled, keeping his head down in his hands to hide his distraught expression. He was almost ripping his hair out with tension and missed the tentative look between the roomates. Neither of them spoke up, so Keith continued.

 

“I mean,  _ yes _ , he was cute--unbelievably so. I tried not to notice but it's impossible. I fucking know you guys have eyes; you’ve fucking  _ seen _ him. But I know I’m not ready  _ at all _ , like I wasn’t ready to meet him, and now that I have, everything is just so overwhelming. I barely even spoke to him but he just…he felt right. I'm upset that I met him, but I'm also not. I’m so against all of this, but Lance just, like, I don’t know. He’s so interesting, and I sort of want to talk to him more? But at the same time, I never want to see him ever again  _ ever _ ,” Keith paused to catch his breath. He raised his head to cover his mouth with his hands in an effort to stop himself from saying anything else. Shiro leaned back in his chair, gazing up at the ceiling in thought. Matt just looked astonished, frozen in his seat while continuously glancing between Keith and Shiro.

 

“That’s the most angsty teen drama I’ve ever heard in my life,” Matt sighed after a minute, amusement playing at the tip of his tongue. Keith just banged his head against the table in despair. 

 

“Okay, okay, pick your head up little bro,” Shiro said softly, his voice warm and comforting. Despite himself, Keith turned his head to glare half-heartedly at his brother. He looked slightly amused also, but was doing a much better job of hiding it than Matt, who was full on grinning at this point. 

 

“This is what soulmates are. I know you felt belittled whenever I told you that it's different once you meet them, but it's not just old people talk. It means something,  _ he _ means something.” 

 

Keith hung his head once again. He felt his stomach knot in anxiety, and for what, Keith wasn't even sure anymore. He knew he hurt Lance by just leaving the day before, and he didn't want to but he felt incredibly guilty. Lance did mean something, he knew that, and he knew that Shiro was right. Just because his parents weren't good soulmates doesn't mean he has to be like his parents. He could learn from them rather than let them hold him back. He just couldn't shake the unease soulmates brought him, that Lance brought him. He'd felt this way for years, his entire life, and to suddenly snap out of it didn't seem feasible. He knew if he’d took Lance up on his offer to go inside, he'd never come out of it alive. He would have fucked everything up even more than he did by leaving.

 

“I-I know. I just…don't know what to do. I don't know how to deal with this,” Keith sighed, running his hand through his hair in his habit he just couldn't break. 

 

“I know. But I think everything you just told us is what you need to tell him. Like it or not, you met him, and he is a part of your life now, Keith. And he is a really good guy too,” Shiro said softly. Keith just nodded, unable to speak anymore. His thoughts were racing and he felt as if his head might explode. He was anxious. He felt the fire burning through his veins, and it made him want to ride his bike again. 

 

“He is a really good guy Keith. I've known him for years, I mean, I basically grew up with him because of Pidge. Yeah, he never shuts up, but he has the biggest heart. If I were nervous to meet my soulmate,” Matt began, his eyes nervously flicking towards Shiro, “I'd feel better knowing it was Lance.” Keith glanced at Matt to see his soft face. He looked kind, his hair messy and his eyes genuine, and Keith could understand why he and Shiro had become so close. His words felt truthful and calm ringing in Keith's ears, and his caring eyes showed only concern. His petty amusement was long gone. 

 

“He's always been excited to meet you. I remember the first time I met him all he talked about was how stubborn his soulmate was,” Shiro leaned on the table, resting his chin on his hand, “It was right after you left, actually. His clock got pushed back years and he was so distraught.” 

 

“I remember that!” Matt butt in, leaning closer towards Shiro. “Oh my god he wouldn't stop talking about it. He was so excited for the days leading up to when he was supposed to meet Keith, and then it got pushed back and he was…a little devastated.” 

 

Keith banged his head on the table once again to the point where he might even get a concussion. He didn't want to hear this. He didn't want to hear what he'd done, how he'd hurt Lance, because before it was easier. He could run and run and never face the hurt he was causing on the other side of his clock. Now everything was different. Keith rubbed nervously at his permanent reminder of a SoulClock. The once constantly changing timer was now static, inking on his skin forever the black numbers of the very moment he met his soulmate. This was his SoulDate. It was now a tattoo, never to change how it used to. 

 

“Hey, we're not trying to make you feel bad,” Matt said kindly, turning away from Shiro and reaching a hand out to pat Keith's hair. Keith ripped his hand from his own wrist, embarrassed to have almost been caught touching his SoulDate.

 

“Yeah, we know you feel guilty enough. What we're trying to say is, just maybe give Lance a chance?” Shiro said, getting up to collect their now empty plates. He was still being a responsible adult during Keith’s crisis.  

 

“Hah, that rhymed,” Matt giggled before covering his mouth, feeling his comment was inappropriate in the situation. Keith smiled sadly anyway, and he saw the very fond glance Shiro tossed Matt's way. 

 

“I'm sure he's a good guy. I'm sure he'd be the perfect soulmate… I just know that  _ I  _ won't be,” Keith mumbled miserably, sinking in his chair until he thought he'd never be able to unstick himself from it. Matt shook his head, making the ‘tsk tsk’ sound with his teeth before getting up, grabbing Keith's wrist, and dragging him to the couch in the living room. He basically threw Keith on the couch and then plopped himself down beside him. Matt threw a blanket over Keith, effectively covering his whole body, including his head, and tucked himself up in his own blanket. 

 

“We're going to watch a movie,” Matt chirped, a smile gracing his lips. 

 

“Good idea Matt. It'll be good to take your mind off this for a little, Keith. It's not healthy to always be so negative about yourself,” Shiro voiced as he made his way into the living room and shoving himself on the other side of Keith. They sandwiched Keith, all of them bundled in blankets like infants. Surprisingly, Keith didn't mind. He usually didn't like physical contact with anyone, but in the moment, he felt that he needed this. Matt and Shiro understood that. 

 

“Um, so we're gonna watch Love Actually to teach you about love, sorry,” Matt said, not seeming sorry at all. He flipped through the list on the cable until reaching the movie, and happily squealing before putting the movie on. Keith smiled as the opening scene played, a warm and unfamiliar feeling residing in his chest. This was strange to him, but welcome. The comfort of friends, of people who at least tried to understand him. Their warm bodies pressed against him. It was new. It was nice. He felt a little of his anxiety ease, the knot in his stomach unfurling slowly. This was where he needed to be right now, not riding his bike alone. He didn't need to isolate himself the way he always did. He could open himself slowly to the people reaching out to him. This could be his chance for something different than he's ever experienced. He could have friends, he could be a part of something other than himself. While Matt mouthed the words to a favorite scene, Shiro turned his face to watch Keith. In this moment, Keith didn't feel babied or looked down upon. He felt truly, undeniably loved.

 

He was happy. 

 

******************

 

His time with Shiro and Matt had honestly very much helped Keith more than he thought it would. He felt at ease, his heart beating freely in his chest rather than being constrained by his emotions. He knew he could handle whatever came. He had been through enough and he knew he was strong. He wasn't going to let something so trivial affect him so much. He wasn't going to run or hide or do whatever he always did. This was his life, and this was where he was living now. Lance was his soulmate, but that didn't mean he had to jump right into everything he'd ever hated. He could set his boundaries, and if Lance was really his soulmate, he would respect them. According to Shiro and Matt, Lance was a nice enough guy that he wouldn't push him. He might only drive him up the wall from time to time. He wasn't perfect and neither was Keith, but that still worried him. He wanted to believe Shiro and Matt that this would work despite that, but his past experiences lead him to be guarded. He would try though, at least for Matt and Shiro. 

 

He left the apartment full and content. Shiro had always been a good cook, but in the four years of Keith's absence, he seemed to have improved greatly. Keith had the feeling it was from meal after meal of cooking for himself and Matt. Matt didn't even enter the kitchen. It made it seem like that was Shiro's realm. Keith had the feeling Matt wasn't very good at cooking anyway.

 

Keith did have responsibilities though, and he had to eventually go out and buy some sort of furniture for his apartment, as small as it may be. First, however, Keith needed coffee. He knew he sported a rather extreme caffeine addiction, but he didn't mind it. His sleeping pattern was broken to the point that he needed constant caffeine intake in order to simply stay awake. Chronic insomnia had been his enemy since he was very young, and coffee had almost become a part of his personality as he grew. He remembered seeing the cute little coffee shop the day before, and after a good breakfast what was better than a good cup of coffee? He hopped on his bike and drove the short distance to the shop. 

 

Keith pulled up and parked just across the street from the red brick building with a chalk board sign hanging above the door. The smell of coffee permeated the entire block, and Keith took a deep breath greedily. His feet were taking him faster towards the the front doors without him even realizing it. As soon as he opened the door a little bell jingled to signal a customer had arrived. Usually Keith found bells like that annoying, but upon looking at the inside of the coffee shop, he found it fitting. It was a quaint little room, half of it split by an inviting bar where people ordered. There were around ten tables in total, and half of them were taken by obvious college students. The walls were a pastel yellow, covered in vintage photographs and submitted art. Old vinyls freckled the pale enclosure, some of them sporting very famous signatures. Fleetwood Mac was the one that caught Keith's eye, reflecting brightly in the back of the room. Little lights and plants hung from above to build a comforting atmosphere. There were also tons of looming posters of horizons, sunset, midday, and clear starlit nights. Keith figured considering the college nearby was a renowned astronomy based school, the buildings surrounding it were all star themed. It made Keith smile. He could hear the soft chatter of people studying, laughing, and ordering their drinks. He was so caught up in the whole thing, he blindly walked to the cashier and vaguely looked over the menu. 

 

“Hi! Welcome to Arus Espresso! What can I get started for you today?” A young girl with dark skin and nearly white hair asked in an excited but polite tone. Keith was taken aback for a moment simply by how beautiful the girl was. She could have been a model, with her angular face and piercing blue eyes. Keith suddenly felt self conscious about his “rolled out of bed” look he'd adorned today. He usually tried not to compare himself to others, but this girl could have made Aphrodite herself look bad. Keith glanced over her name tag. ‘Allura' it read. 

 

“Um…Can I get a Macadamia Mocha?” Keith responded quietly.

 

“Of course! Can I get your name?” The barista asked while taking out a cup and a sharpie. 

 

“Keith,” Keith mumbled.

 

“I'll get that started right away for you!” The girl named Allura chirped back, her smile blinding Keith. She turned towards the back where there was a small window to the kitchen after Keith handed over the money. Keith couldn't see much, but there seemed to be someone back there rummaging around, probably making coffee or baking pastries. The Allura girl called out to the person, who immediately snapped up and rushed to the window. Keith felt anxiety bubble in his stomach, and he instinctively scratched at his wrist. His back ran into the person behind him, and he mumbled a rushed apology without taking his eyes off of the window. The person peeked their head through the opening.

 

It was Lance. 

 

Lance poked his head into the bar area, addressing Allura with a bright smile before his eyes flicked towards Keith and got stuck. He openly gaped at Keith, his blue eyes wide and instantaneously hopeful. 

 

“Lance?” Allura asked a little forcefully, her eyes drifting towards Keith. 

 

“I'm taking my break now,” Lance rushed out, ripping his apron off and walking out of the kitchen into the bar area. 

 

“You don't have a break for another two hours,” Allura deadpanned, looking clearly not amused. 

 

“I'm taking it  _ now _ though,” Lance said, jumping over the bar and drawing the attention of a few of the surrounding customers. Keith shot out of line, already heading towards the door when a hand grabbed his wrist. Keith felt a sting from the point of contact radiate through his entire body. He ripped his hand away. 

 

“You already ordered, right? You gotta stay and wait for it, I hear the coffee here is  _ amazing _ ,” Lance smiled, punctuating the word amazing with a wink. Keith just stood there in shock, eyes wide and fearful. Sure, he'd felt better after his talk with Matt and Shiro, but he didn't expect to have to put his thoughts into action so soon. As he stood there, very aware of the attention the other customers were giving them and Allura’s calculating stare, he felt like he might actually pass out. To say he was uncomfortable would be the understatement of the year. Lance's face was calm, his posture relaxed, but his eyes held a storm. He was holding himself back, from doing what, Keith couldn't figure out. He could feel the sparks of Lance's emotions just within their short distance, but he couldn't sort them. Everything was fuzzy and whirling and  _ forceful _ . It was like a hurricane held inside one body. Lance hadn't expected this either, but was eager to run with it, and was holding himself together much more skilfully than Keith. 

 

“You know we need to talk. How about we just go sit…” Lance began, his eyes darting around the room until they landed on a small empty table in the corner, “over there.” He finished, a bright smile on his face. Keith sighed, finally taking his eyes off of Lance in favor of staring at the floor. His fingers fidgeted in front of him and he heard a ringing in his ears. He couldn't focus. His chest was tight. 

 

“Okay,” He heard himself say. He didn't look up, but he could feel Lance's joy at his response. The tips of his fingers tingled with Lance's excitement and he rubbed at them incessantly as if that would make it stop. Lance lead them to the table tucked away by the bathrooms, probably why no one had sat there. Keith felt his body moving of its own accord, taking slow tentative steps to the table, sitting hesitantly in the seat across from Lance. His eyes were down the entire time, his fingers starting to turn red from the constant wringing. He could feel the tension in the air between them. It was so thick it was clogging his lungs, choking him like smoke from a raging fire.

 

“So um, how have you been?” Lance asked softly, nerves bubbling at the tip of his voice. Keith scoffed, biting back an anxious laugh and rolling his eyes instead. The tension lessened to a mere simmer rather than the sludge that had been smothering them before. 

“Okay that was lame. I don't… really know how to approach this,” Lance said quietly this time, looking shy in front of Keith. He didn't know Lance, but he felt this was bizarre. Lance seemed so confident and vivacious, not timid and quiet like Keith. He felt Lance's capriciousness nipping at his own, their emotions mixing into a whole instead of clashing like they had during their first encounter. 

 

“It's okay, I don't either…” Keith chuckled apprehensively, scratching at his wrist. He felt Lance's eyes on him, following his every move, trying to analyze him. He hated it. He hated people trying to read him and figure him out, but he couldn't be mad at Lance. He could literally feel the good intentions Lance had, curious and honest, only trying to understand the boy that had been running from him for years. 

 

“You like the Beatles?” He heard Lance's warm voice ask, snapping him out of his own thoughts. Keith was confused for a moment, raising an eyebrow in a questioning look before he remembered the shirt he was wearing. 

 

“O-oh, um, yeah. I do,” Keith laughed again awkwardly, his eyes flicking down to his faded shirt and tapping his foot nervously against the floor. 

 

“I do too. But some of their stuff is really trippy,” Lance said with an air of confidence, his demeanor returning to his usual self. Keith felt his anxiety subsiding ever so slightly, but his fingers remained in his lap, tapping against his knee. 

 

“Like what? I know some of their songs are weird but I'm not sure they warrant ‘trippy’,” Keith leaned in a little, scoffing at the word ‘trippy’. 

 

“Um, A Day in the Life? It starts so happy and then just gets a little demonic. Like playing heavy metal backwards kind of demonic,” Lance said seriously, his goofy grin betraying him. 

 

“Okay if you think that song is demonic then you clearly haven't heard Revolution 9,” Keith snickered. He faintly heard Allura call out his name, but his attention was on Lance. Lance's big, bright smile. His teeth were immaculate, all straight and proportionate. Keith wondered if he had braces, because teeth were not naturally that perfect. Keith's own teeth were straight but slightly crowded, sporting only one marginally crooked tooth just to the left of his two front teeth. As a kid he'd always felt a little self conscious about it, but as he grew older he managed to let it go. It made his smile a little funky, and it sort of became a part of him. Now though, facing the absolute perfection that was Lance's smile, his hand came up to cover his own smile with his sleeve. 

 

“Love birds! Your coffee is done,” Allura's piercing voice cut in, and Keith's head snapped in her direction. She’d sounded like she’d been repeating herself. He was about to get up with a red, completely mortified, face to retrieve his coffee, but Lance beat him to it. He stood gracefully, seeming to skip to the counter and grabbing the coffee before presenting it to Keith in the utmost dramatic fashion. Keith rolled his eyes, snatching the cup carefully. 

 

“What a gentleman,” Keith drawled, attempting to cover his warm cheeks with a sarcastic grin. 

 

“At your service,” Lance practically sang, sweeping his arms up and bending into a deep bow. Keith felt a laugh rise in his chest before he could stop it, and then it actually slipped out. The sound was foreign to his own ears, and he didn't miss the shocked expression that flashed across Lance's features before quickly being schooled into something more neutral. Keith cleared his throat, timorously shifting in his seat.

 

“So, you were saying something about resolution 9?” Lance breathed as he sat back down. 

 

“Revolution 9,” Keith corrected pointedly.

 

“Right,” Lance quipped, a smirk on his lips. Keith rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time.

 

“It's pretty weird. It's actually not even really a song, just a collection of disturbing sounds.” Keith took a sip of his coffee, savoring the sweet taste. Lance was right, the coffee here  _ was _ really good. 

 

“So like a backwards song, but it's forwards,” Lance pieced together physically with his hands as he spoke, his face displaying his disbelief. Keith sensed his amusement. 

 

“Exactly,” Keith smiled, making sure to keep his lips closed and not show his teeth. 

 

“And you said their songs weren't trippy,” Lance giggled, leaning his elbows on the table and eyes tracing Keith’s facial features.

 

“Okay, you got me. I guess  _ some  _ of their songs are trippy.” Keith raised his hands in a mock surrender, looking a little strange with his coffee in one hand. Lance laughed at this, his eyes wrinkling endearingly. Keith thought he looked rather charming with his freckles all scrunched up in amusement. Keith then smiled, covering it by taking another sip of his coffee. They fell back into silence, neither of them really knowing how to continue the conversation. Keith had never been very talkative or good with words, and he could feel that Lance was just very nervous. The boy's emotions were constantly shifting between joy, confusion, anxiety, and a million other things, and it was tying his tongue. Keith fiddled with his coffee cup on the table, peeling off the corner of the little Arus Espresso label and then putting it back over and over. 

 

“So--um, you're Shiro's… brother?” Lance asked unsurely, breaking the silence. 

 

“Adoptive brother, yes,” Keith answered quietly, eyes down. 

 

“Oh. I was gonna say you two don't really look anything alike,” Lance wriggled in his chair, crossing one leg over the other before switching them. “I mean Shiro is handsome and a pretty boy but you're  _ so _ …” 

 

Keith choked on air, his eyes wide and skin hot. There was a beat of tension filled silence. 

 

“Do you wanna finish your sentence?” Keith whispered under his breath. He felt his stomach drop in shock at himself. He'd thought out loud, and he couldn't believe it’d actually came out. Lance quickly caught himself, coughing before quickly rambling “Y-You have a mullet. Clearly someone related to Shiro would have a super edgy dye and cut like him,” Lance practically wheezed, a sound that was probably supposed to be a laugh. His anxiety curling in Keith's arms was revealing however, and Keith knew what Lance had originally meant to say was much more thoughtful. Not just a comment on his hair, it was going to be a compliment. Keith's foot was tapping so hard on the floor it was beginning to shake his entire body. 

 

“Very original. I don't think I've ever heard that one before,” Keith tried to sound sarcastic, but his voice trembled. He wasn't naive. 

 

“I mean like, it looks soft and stuff but it's like… Billy Ray Cyrus,” Lance continued, his words jumbling together with how fast he was talking. Keith was taken aback by this, quickly jumping to offense. 

 

“Wow, what the fuck.” 

 

Keith didn't know if he was more mad that Lance compared him to a deadbeat country celebrity, or because he didn't get to hear what Lance really thought. At least, not from his mouth. He could feel what Lance really thought. Starting from slight admiration and quickly shifting to sheer embarrassment. Keith wondered what it was like for Lance to be able to feel his emotions. Was he aware Keith knew that Lance was lying? Could he understand Keith, understand his emotions more than Keith could himself? Or was it just as jumbled and confusing to him as it was to Keith. Lance's emotions reverberated through Keith's body like an echo in the city. He could feel each emotion distinctly, but often all at once. He knew exactly  _ how _ Lance was thinking, but not  _ what  _ he was thinking. The connection was faint when they weren't touching anyway, and it made Lance somehow even harder to comprehend. Keith wondered what he’d have found out if he just reached across the table and touched Lance’s hand.

 

“What? Don't like a little Billy?” Lance asked in a bad southern accent, smiling that cocky grin of his.

 

“He's whatever, but my mullet is clearly superior to his,” Keith sneered, taking a sip from his coffee. 

 

“Hah! So you admit you have a mullet!” Lance sat up, pointing an accusing finger at Keith. Keith sputtered indignantly, his ears turning red. He got caught. There was no way out of this one, and he couldn't believe how stupid this conversation even was in the first place.

 

“You don't have to say anything. I can feel your embarrassment,” Lance said smugly, leaning back and looking accomplished. 

 

“Whatever,” Keith mumbled, chugging the rest of his coffee and smacking the empty cup on the table. 

 

“I mean, it's not  _ ugly, _ ” Lance said quietly. He crossed his legs, and Keith could feel the fizzles of Lance's discomfort in his knees. 

 

“Thanks, I know,” Keith smirked, fiddling with his empty cup on the table. Lance shifted in his seat, switching his crossed legs once again and leaning back in his chair, as if he needed some distance between himself and Keith without actually getting up. Keith related to that deeply.

 

“You actually just don't look anything like how I… I mean I never really pictured my soulmate looking any certain way but…” Lance rambled, scratching the back of his neck and glancing around the coffee shop. 

 

“You didn't expect anything, but I'm still not what you expected,” Keith finished for him, subconsciously curling his body in on himself. Lance was calm, his emotions not as tumultuous as usual, so Keith could only feel faint mirages of what Lance was feeling. It came in waves, and Keith was trying to figure out any sort of pattern in his ability to sense Lance. Touch made it immediate and intense, he knew that, Lance's emotions flowed into him mixing with his own to the point where he couldn't tell what was his and what was Lance. It was like two different typhoons colliding into one giant disaster. Short distances without touching could be a strong or weak connection, and occasionally flicking between the two. In the coffee shop, Keith was coming to realize he could feel Lance's emotions much stronger if Lance was feeling it stronger, and Lance, as passionate as he is, usually was. But in stunted moments like this, tension filled and delayed, Keith could only get a whisper tickling through his body. 

 

“Exactly,” Lance whispered, his eyes slowly moving to Keith and studying him. Keith's eyes caught Lance's, and he felt his breath being stolen from him.  

 

“You're not what I expected either. I sort of avoided… Everything about soulmates for a long time so I never really thought about how you'd look or act… But I don't know. I guess you're just more interesting than I thought you'd be,” Keith rambled, finally breaking eye contact and gripping his coffee cup tightly. His throat swelled and he took a shuddering breath. He hadn't meant to say so much, even if it wasn't really that much. He supposed it was a good thing though. Lance was his soulmate; he could talk to him. He had to talk to him. 

 

“Interesting?” Lance quirked an eyebrow at Keith. 

 

“Yeah, like, I don't know… I don't really know you but you just seem… zealous,” Keith mumbled. He heard Lance chuckle, and the flooding sense of amusement nipping at Keith somehow made him relieved. He didn't like when Lance was so tense, because it made Keith tense too. 

 

“And you seem reserved. Opposites, huh?” Lance mused, his eyes intense as they continued to study Keith. His eyes raked over every feature possible in an attempt to memorize it all, and Keith couldn't help but turn a little pink. He could feel a tinge of hurt at his fingertips, and it was not his own. Lance was unsure, self conscious, and Keith didn't like it. He felt the words form at his lips before he could stop them. 

 

“It's not like it's a bad thing.” 

 

Lance's eyes widened for a split seconds, a wave of shock crashing against Keith only for a moment. Keith was shocked too. Shocked at himself, and once again at the situation. Lance’s mouth opened and closed a couple times before he took a slow breath.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Lance suddenly asked, leaning his elbows on the table once more. Keith felt his stomach drop, and a cold sweat break on the back of his neck. 

 

“Oh, don't get so anxious, you don't have to answer if you don't want to,” Lance said softly, his eyes kind and a hand gripping at his stomach. Keith felt a little bad, imposing his constant anxiety on someone else. 

 

“Um, okay. Shoot,” Keith whispered.

 

Lance took a deep breath. 

 

“So…  _ Why _ were you avoiding soulmates and stuff? You said you've lived how terrible soulmates are…” Lance trailed off, his caution with the subject rubbing Keith's insides raw. It was like he was approaching a wounded animal, and Keith could not only feel it in their conversation, but could also sense it in Lance's emotions. Keith shifted in his seat, his anxiety increasing tenfold. He saw Lance grip tighter at his stomach from the corner of his eye, but he kept his eyes down. They were bouncing emotions off each other, and it wasn't helping the situation for once. There was no new understanding, just increasing stress over each other and mild pain, and Keith didn't know what to do. Maybe if he just got this conversation over with, it'd be better.

 

“I… uh… Just, I saw a lot of bad soulmate interaction as a kid. I just realized at a really young age that soulmates aren't what they're made out to be,” Keith stuttered, scratching at his wrist, fiddling with his fingers, and doing basically all of his nervous tics at once.

 

“Okay. I can try to understand that. I get it if you don't want to just jump right into being lovers or whatever, but… Can we at least be friends?” Lance asked hesitantly, looking so honest and innocent. Keith sighed, finally looking up at Lance and smiling gently. He knew from the bottom of his heart that Lance deserved better, but this was what he had to offer for now. Thankfully, Lance understood that.

 

“Yeah. We can be friends,” Keith said. Lance immediately lit up, a blinding smile splitting his face in half. He felt pure joy tingle in his chest, and this time he wasn't sure who it was coming from. It was like a radiant warmth spreading from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. Sharing emotions was overwhelming but also unquestionably wonderful sometimes, Keith was learning.

 

“Good, because I am a  _ great _ friend. Like literally the best friend ever. I'm just a genuine and amazing person in general so,” Lance babbled, throwing his arms theatrically. He was motioning towards his face in a joking manner, and Keith found himself enjoying their interaction just a tiny bit. Lance was hands down the most ridiculous person he'd ever met, yet he couldn't help but want to see more, to see what would happen.

 

“Oh I’m sure,” Keith said sarcastically, finally getting up to throw away his coffee cup. He sat back down feeling more at ease than he had before he left. His chest felt lighter, the dark cloud that had been stalking him for years was finally gone. He knew it'd eventually come back, but for now, he was content. He was still a little unsure of the future and being forced with someone forever, but he knew that things would work out. Lance wasn't the kind of person to make Keith do things he wasn't willing to do. 

 

“LANCE!” Keith recognized the voice of the Allura girl calling out from behind the counter. She sounded angry, but Lance didn't display any worry, only rolling his eyes and flopping back in his chair. 

 

“Whaaaaaaaat Princess?” Lance groaned while leaning his chair back in exasperation.

 

“If you don't get your ass back to work, I'm cutting your paycheck in half,” Allura threatened with all seven levels of hell burning in her eyes. 

 

“But that's below minimum wage!” Lance whined, swiveling in his chair desperately.

 

“Does it look like I particularly care right now?  _ Get. Back. To. Work. _ I was doing you a favor by letting your little impromptu date slide, but I really need help with the dishes now. They're looking monstrous,” Allura scolded, managing to still seem proper with frizzy curls escaping from her bun and coffee stains on her apron.

 

Lance sighed in defeat, knowing she was right and that he was still on the clock. When he looked back at Keith, he seemed apologetic and a little regretful. 

 

“Hey, uh, thanks for sitting down with me and, you know, talking about this stuff. It means a lot to me, and I had a really good time. I hope I see you soon? Bosslady over there might get to me first so, uh, bye bye!” Lance punctuated with a silly wave and an amiable smile. Keith waved back hesitantly. He admired Lance’s goofiness and liked feeling his sincerity echo through his whole body. These were baby steps, but it was still progress. Keith felt sure in himself for the first time in a while, and it felt fantastic. With delicious coffee fueling him and putting a skip in his step, Keith exited the café to start his day. He started down the street towards his bike only to be stopped by a familiar hand at his wrist. 

 

“Almost forgot this,” Lance rushed, shoving a scrap of paper in Keith’s hand. He ran off back into the coffee shop with a triumphant smile on his face before Keith could say anything, only feeling remnants of Lance’s adrenaline and excitement. Keith looked down at an Arus Espresso napkin dotted with coffee stains, foreign digits and a winky face. It took him a moment to process what he was holding, but once he did, he felt his entire body heat up. Lance had given him his phone number. For some reason, Keith felt like laughing. He quickly shoved the wrinkled napkin in his pocket, shuffling to his bike and yanking his helmet on. He needed to think, to clear his mind. Of course Lance gave him his number. Lance wanted them to be friends, and Keith was okay with that. He didn’t need to feel his stomach coil and his pulse increase, but he still couldn’t push it away fully. He couldn’t tell if it was from excitement or nerves. Keith wondered if Lance was feeling any of this uncertainty. In the cafe, Keith could tell Lance wasn’t as confident as he seemed, but just now, all Keith felt was satisfaction. 

 

As Keith drove, the wind whipped through his hair, calming his shaken disposition. He continued his day, driving to the nearest furniture store and picking up some decorations and necessities, but the whole time his joy about what happened with Lance never faltered. His chest felt lighter, and he actually noticed his feet lying still on the ground and his fingers placidly picking the nearest furniture off the shelves, not really sure if any of it matched. He occasionally reached in his pocket, brushing the crumpled napkin with Lance’s number. He felt calm, and figured that if he were ever going to do this, he should do it now. As he filled out his delivery paperwork, he took out his phone and typed in the new number.

 

**[Me: 3:32 pm]**

**Hey it’s Keith**

Keith managed to make it all the way back to his apartment without checking his phone. It had gone off only a few minutes after he sent the text, but he tried to fool himself that it was Shiro who had texted him. He flopped down on his mattress, tossing his bag of decorations that he could carry on his bike on the floor. He lied there for a solid five minutes before his hand was wrenching his phone out of his pocket without even realizing it. 

 

**[Lance: 3:40 pm]**

**Hey Keith! Thank god you actually messaged me lmao I thought you were just gonna ignore it XD**

 

Keith cringed. Of course Lance used “XD.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're sorry for such a late update! Things got a little hectic with all our testing and two of our coauthors graduated! We have been super busy but now with summer starting we will have more time and will update quicker. In the upcoming chapters we will be posting art as well as songs that go with the story! Thank you for understanding.  
> Here are the songs Lance and Keith talk about:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usNsCeOV4GM  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWmvbxGpra4  
> And here is the song we imagined playing in the background of the coffee shop  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuwZ_WTBWRo


	4. And So The Balance Shifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like a little friendly competition?

University wasn't what Keith had expected. He thought once he started studying space architecture, his entire world would open up. He'd find his niche and realize why he was here. Instead, his first impression of class was abysmal. Instead of discovery, all he found was solitude. He didn’t know anyone, and he didn’t know anything. Sure, he’d done plenty of research before choosing the major that decided his future, but actually studying it suddenly seemed so irrelevant. His mind wasn’t opened, and he wasn’t inspired. It was disappointing. Keith sat at his desk, trying his hardest to pay attention, when all he could focus on was  _ what ifs. _ What if this wasn’t the right decision. What if there was really nothing out there that could inspire him. What if he had been working himself up for something only to be disappointed by it. What if his dream wasn’t really his dream, and he’d been fooling himself. He decided to give it more time. It was only his first day, but his instant reaction was to overanalyze every paltry detail of his new life. The way the lectures seemed a little too long. How Keith really was interested in what the professor was teaching, but for some reason it just didn’t spark anything within him. His mind kept wandering, his notes turned sloppy, and by the time class was over, Keith realized he hadn’t really been paying attention at all.

 

He left his classroom feeling despondent. His steps were slow and somber. He’d been through his morning classes already, just rudimentary GE credits that he needed, and had been looking forward to this class all day. It was just an introductory course to technical drawing, the basics on space architecture, but even just reading about it when he applied got him excited. He brought his sketchbook and everything, hoping to maybe meet classmates with his passion. Maybe even try to talk to the professor, like how students destined for greatness always did in the movies. Keith had been foolish and he knew it. Life was not a movie, and things never go how they should. He knew that very well, but a childish part of him still had hoped for something new. Something to break him out of this constant disappointment. In himself, in his life, in his future. Keith suddenly felt his eyes sting. He stopped in the middle of the hall, causing a few people behind him to run into him. He ignored their harsh stares, and kept his eyes to the ground. He quickly spun on his heel and aimed for the exit. He was on his way to the Canteen to get some lunch before he headed home, but suddenly he felt nauseous. His vision was spinning, and he couldn’t breathe. Keith was lost.

 

“Kei--Is that Keith? KEITH!” 

 

Keith heard a voice behind him, and it abruptly ripped him from his dissociation. He blinked rapidly, clearing his vision slightly and trying to focus on where the voice was coming from. Then, through the thick crowd, he saw the very top of a head coming towards him. The light brown hair and ginormous glasses gave her away immediately.

 

“It  _ is _ Keith! I didn’t know you were a fellow space nerd!” Pidge said excitedly as she approached, a tall man with a yellow headband across his forehead followed more slowly behind. Keith laughed, his voice sounding winded and forced to his own ears.

 

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me,” He said, trying to appear much cooler than he felt. He shoved his hands in his pockets, but his foot tapped to a silent song on the ground. 

 

“Oooooh, mysterious. But we can change that,” Pidge breathed smoothly, as if talking to someone she barely knew was a second nature. He supposed maybe it was for Pidge. Not everyone was so completely inept like he was. Before he could ask what she meant, Pidge was grabbing Keith’s arm and linking it with hers. She turned the way Keith had come from and dragged Keith along with her. The man with the headband joined on her other side, slipping his arm with hers cheerily despite the major height difference.

 

“Oh, right. This is Hunk by the way,” Pidge chirped, nodding her head in the other boy’s direction.

 

“Nice to meet you, Keith. I’ve heard lots about you,” Hunk said, a boxy grin taking over his face easily. It seemed like everyone around Keith was just so much better at expressing themselves than Keith was. They all held smiles and a brightness that Keith had never seen in anyone but Shiro. He supposed that was why Shiro was friends with them. He wasn’t the type to associate himself with anyone that would bring him down. Keith wondered if Shiro’s parents hadn’t adopted him, would they have ever become friends. The thought made Keith’s head spin once again, and his stomach was filled with the weight of the world. He swayed a little as he walked.

 

“Whoa, are you okay?” He heard Hunk’s voice ask him, but it felt like his mouth wasn’t connected to his head anymore. He saw his legs walking beneath him, but couldn’t recognize that he was the one telling them to walk.

 

“A-ah, yeah. I’m fine. Just tired. Nice to meet you too, Hunk,” Keith said unsteadily, his eyes timidly avoiding eye contact but still flicking over in Hunk’s direction so he wouldn’t seem rude. He could tell Hunk didn’t believe him, but he was distracted by Pidge’s arm tightening around his own.

 

“You look a little pale. You need some food. The canteen actually has pretty good lo mein, believe it or not,” Pidge said cheerfully, but her eyes held something else. She looked at Keith like she knew what he was thinking, her eyes calculating and cunning. It frightened Keith a little bit, and he looked away.

 

“I was actually about to go home. I have--”

 

“Nonsense. Eating alone on your first day of university? That does not sound fun at all. You’re coming with us,” Pidge marched on, her nose turned up in the air like she was on a mission. She was totally a natural leader.

 

“Yeah! It’ll be fun getting to know Shiro’s famous little brother,” Hunk laughed, though Keith couldn’t tell what was so funny.

 

“Why does everyone keep calling me famous?” He asked quietly, mostly to himself. No one answered him, because they all already knew the answer. He was the famous brother that up and abandoned Shiro out of nowhere one day. The brother that wasn’t really a brother. The brother that wasn’t there for Shiro’s accident, that didn’t even know it happened until a few days ago. He was the stranger with the label of brother stuck on his shirt, like he was at a meet and greet, visiting in Shiro’s life. A black sheep in a happy white sheep family. Keith felt his arms shaking, and he thought for a moment that he really would throw up. Instead, he just kept walking, Pidge’s warmth at his side oddly comforting, and he greatly appreciated that she didn’t bring up his shaking. It wasn’t subtle, and he knew that she had noticed, but the rest of their short walk to the Canteen was quiet. Not the kind of quiet Keith was used to, the quiet of solitude. No, it was the quiet of company, where the chatter of the hallway was enough for the background of their scene. Keith still felt like shit, but for once, he was glad he wasn’t alone. 

 

Keith could smell the Canteen before he saw it, but once he did see it, he was a little amazed. It was a giant patio in the shape of a half circle. One side was surrounded by the school, vendors selling food from attached stands all around the side of the circle. The other half was an open field, slightly downward sloped and lined with trees. At the center was a soccer field, close enough to where it wasn’t a far walk, but far enough from the watchful eyes of the patio to be comfortable. 

Pidge lead them right to the Asian style vendor, and they got their food quickly. Pidge insisted on Keith getting lo mein, while she herself got some chicken dish that Keith thought actually looked good. Hunk got something that was actually just a mixture of all the options, and Keith couldn't help but quirk a smile at that. Even though Hunk hadn't said much, he just had an air of friendliness that Keith couldn't help but admire. They walked towards a table closer to the field, and Keith immediately saw him. Lance was sitting with the girl from the coffee shop; Keith seemed to remember her name as Allura. They were in what appeared to be deep conversation, where Lance was being ridiculous and Allura looking about three seconds from pushing his chair over. Lance didn't notice Keith until he was around five feet from the table, looking up with wide eyes and shifting to a soft smile. Lance waved, grabbing the attention of Allura whose eyes immediately shot up towards the approaching three. Her eyebrow arched in curiosity, but she remained patiently silent. 

 

“Hello Allura, looking radiant as ever! Hey  _ tagata _ ! I feel like I haven't seen you in so long. Come here already!” Hunk bellowed in his amiable baritone. Lance joyfully sprung up from his seat to engage in an extremely intricate handshake with Hunk. It ended with Hunk bear-hugging Lance and spinning him around tightly. Lance looked like a ragdoll sticking out of a car window. Lance’s peels of laughter could probably be heard a mile away because, as Keith observed, Lance was incapable of ever doing things half-way.

 

“Oh my god! St--stop! I can't--I can't breathe. I swear I'm g-g-gonna pee if you don't put me down,” Lance wheezed through his uncontrollable laughter. His cheeks were a healthy, bright red that would make Keith look like a tomato, but only achieved in making Lance look even more charming. He could just barely feel Lance's joy on the tip of his nose, and it made him have to repress a smile. He heard himself huff in exasperation.

 

“Okay, okay. Sorry that was so dramatic; it's just so weird to be without my best bro, ya know?” Hunk said while unceremoniously dropping Lance to the ground. Lance rubbed his wounded ass and looked up at Hunk balefully before gracefully standing back up. His eyes roamed over Keith for a second before they went back to Hunk, his grin returning. 

 

“Ah yes, what would I ever do without you, my dearest Hunk,” Lance cried dramatically, practically making a show of himself. Keith could feel the surrounding tables eyeing them, and his stomach twisted painfully. He didn't understand how Lance could be so comfortable with foreign attention, in fact, he seemed to thrive off of it. Keith could taste a little of Lance's satisfaction, and it was bizarre to Keith. Even Hunk was beginning to look a little bashful having noticed the nearby tables, but Lance was as vibrant as ever. He sat back down in his seat with his natural flare that made everything he did look like he belonged on a stage.

 

“ _ Tagata _ , I haven't seen you since when… Thursday? And today is Monday? That is just wrong,” Hunk laughed as he slapped Lance on the back. Hunk flopped himself down on the seat next to Lance. Pidge just rolled her eyes, sitting quietly next to Hunk and patting the seat next to her for Keith. 

 

“Enough about you two, we all know you're best friends. You're Keith, right?” Allura suddenly broke in, effectively hushing Lance and Hunk to bring the entire group's attention to Keith. The latter squirmed under all the eyes on him, but nodded anyway.

 

“Yeah, Keith Gyeong,” He answered, swirling around his noodles with his fork to distract himself. 

 

“Nice to actually meet you, Keith. I am Allura, and I'm a senior here,” Allura smiled easily, extending a hand for Keith to shake. 

 

“ _ Wow _ she's so formal,” Hunk teased, his voice getting extremely nasally at the word ‘wow.’ Lance burst into laughter, Hunk joining him, but Keith didn't get the joke. Allura elegantly ignored them, shaking Keith's hand with a firm grasp. 

 

“He is Shiro's little brother,” Pidge declared, not so subtly punching Hunk in the arm and muttering a quiet “shut up, vine is dead.” 

 

“Really?” Allura asked, genuinely interested and studying Keith's face.

 

“ _ Adoptive _ brother, that's why they don't look alike,” Lance finally spoke up, looking smug that he had a piece of information Allura didn't. He flipped his headphone cord hanging from his ear like it was hair. Keith flushed, suddenly remembering the conversation they'd had only a few days prior. Lance had tried to keep in touch after that, texting Keith at what seemed like every hour, on the hour, but Keith mostly ignored him. He only responded occasionally, and when he did they were few word answers. He just couldn't possibly keep up with Lance's constant stream of consciousness being thrown at him.

 

“Actually, we should all introduce each other like that, even though Keith already knows  _ me _ ” Pidge threw her arm over Keith's shoulder, looking like she was trying to climb Keith due to their height difference. She kept her arm there, despite it looking very uncomfortable, and it made Keith crack a smile. 

 

“Alrighty, so I'm Lance Sanchez, and I'm a first year,” Lance smiled big, leaning on the table and casting a wink Keith's way. Keith rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his lo mein. It was pretty good. Pidge scoffed at his side. 

 

“Oh I'm _ sure _ Keith knows who you are,” She leaned further on Keith, pushing him to the side until Keith had to put his hand on the table to keep his balance. Keith flushed, nearly choking on his food. 

 

“So you meant just Allura and I introduce ourselves,” Hunk interjected with a chuckle, “My real name is Tsuyoshi Garett, but everyone just calls me Hunk. I'm also a first year.” Keith reached over Pidge to shake Hunk’s hand, but Hunk just shook his head and stood up instead. 

 

“Nah man, I'm a hugger,” He smiled happily, opening his arms out. Keith stood slowly, looking to Pidge for help but all he got was an expectant grin. He could hear Lance whooping and cheering them on and was once again reminded that the universe paired him up with a total drama queen. He sighed, hugging Hunk awkwardly. Hunk seemed to be an expert in hugs. He was warm and kind and knew just when to let go before it got weird. They had only just finished getting settled back in their seats when Allura spoke up again. 

 

“Wait wait,  _ how _ does Keith know Lance exactly?” 

 

The table was struck with a beat of silence. Keith and Lance both paled, and Keith tried to ignore the sudden pain in his stomach. 

 

“Geez, are you literally  _ always _ anxious?” Lance asked, his voice sounding winded and he gripped at his own stomach. Keith was startled at that, because he could barely feel Lance's emotions, but Lance seemed to be able to feel the full force of his anxiety. He felt bad, because he  _ was _ always anxious, and not only did he bring down whoever he was with, now he was forcing someone else to actually feel it too. Allura glanced curiously between them, and then suddenly her eyes widened. It would have looked comical if she weren't so stunning.

 

“No way,” She whispered, grabbing Lance's right hand and flipping it over to see his wrist. She gasped, flinging Lance's arm back to him, and looking over to Keith. He could feel her eyes on his wrist, and he instinctively pulled the sleeve of his shirt down. He felt a jolt of hurt pass through him like the wind, and he knew it was not his own.

 

“ _ And you didn't tell me?!  _ Am I the only one here who didn't know you finally met them _?” _

 

Lance looked abashed, leaning away from Allura's intense stare. Keith shifted uncomfortably in his seat, happy that the attention was off him but still disquieted with the subject. Sooner or later blame was gonna be thrown around.

 

“In his defense, it did happen pretty fast,” Pidge defended, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. 

 

“And to think you took your  _ very early _ break with Keith, and still couldn't tell me?” Allura cried, looking askance. Lance shrugged, scratching the back of his neck and glancing at Keith. 

 

“It's not really my secret to tell right now. Keith and I had a bit of a….rough introduction and not much better past interactions, so we're starting out really slow for now. Like  _ really _ slow if you get what I mean,” Lance cautiously explained, hand cupping his flaming neck in an attempt to hide his embarrassment and frustration. Keith could feel his discomfort and wished he could help, but it was an awful subject to brush for both of them. 

 

“I'm sorry; I didn't actually pick up on what you meant. Are you guys together or not?” Allura questioned, glancing at the both of them. Lance answered “sorta” at the same time Keith responded with “absolutely not”. The echoing silence that came after could drive someone insane. Keith honestly couldn't even look at Lance he was so embarrassed. They'd somehow managed to reveal their intense relationship issues to the whole friend group in less than five minutes. 

 

“Yikes,” Pidge said, breaking the initial silence. Keith felt a crushing wave of embarrassment press at his insides, and he wasn't sure if it was all him or Lance as well. 

 

“Oh, um… Well I'm glad you two are working on it,” Allura said in what should have been an awkward manner if she wasn’t so graceful in everything she did. Keith wanted to die. His and Lance's embarrassment was absolutely suffocating. 

 

“Oh hey, didn't Shiro and Matt say they were coming for lunch today? Where are they? They should be coming soon, right?” Hunk interjected, his voice carrying a nervous lilt as he nudged Pidge a little too forcefully. Pidge just sighed, hurriedly whipping out her phone and checking her messages. She announced that the roommates, which Keith was learning was Shiro and Matt's nickname, would arrive in about ten minutes. So the table had time to brew in the awkward atmosphere and silently eat their food. Hunk tried to throw in a few jokes with Lance, but nothing ever sparked a real conversation, not with the deep disappointment Keith could feel clawing at him from Lance. Once again, for what seemed like the millionth time since he moved here, Keith felt bad. His anxiety was persistent in harassing him and now also Lance, his inability to adapt to his soulmate was threatening his new “friendship” as well, and now the entire group was suffering because of him. He knew if he weren't here everyone would be jovial and laughing just as they were before Keith opened his mouth. Today had started as a bad day and was progressively getting worse. He wanted to leave. He really wanted to leave. He felt out of place; he was the newcomer imposing his social incompetence on an ancient and balanced group. The synergy of this group was clearly deep rooted and sturdy, but Keith somehow still managed to fuck everything up. He only knew how to be alone, and as good as it felt to be with people, maybe all he was good for was being alone. Keith could feel Lance's concerned gaze, his eyes just barely glancing at Keith before quickly looking away. Lance could no doubt feel Keith's thoughts rapidly darkening, but Keith couldn't help it. He couldn't help that he'd been already shaken up when Pidge grabbed him, and this horrible table situation was making him want to actually die. 

 

Luckily, by the time everyone was relatively finished with their food, Matt and Shiro finally graced them with their presence. Shiro had surprised Keith, nearly making him choke on his own spit by clapping a hand down on Keith's back, hard. Matt made a much more subtle approach, reaching his arms around Pidge’s shoulders and hugging her gently from behind. His cheshire grin never left his face. Keith glared with envy.

 

“See Shiro, _that's_ how you be a brother,” Keith sighed dramatically, rubbing at the spot Shiro slapped. Matt looked up shyly, but didn't pull away from his sister. Pidge just looked smug, as if saying _my brother loves me more than yours_ _loves you_. Keith stuck his tongue out at her. 

 

“Oh c’mon Keith, every relationship is different, and I love you in my  _ own _ way,” Shiro put on his best dad voice, sounding like he was the host of a cheesy talk show. Keith rolled his eyes, pointedly ignoring Shiro as he sat down next to him. 

 

“Is that a soccer ball?” Lance asked, though it was more of a statement than a question. Keith looked up to see Lance's face painted in excitement. He looked like an eager child, and Keith couldn't help but find it at least a little endearing. Shiro brightened, holding up his pretty ordinary soccer ball he'd been carrying as if it were a prize. 

 

“Like you don't already know,” Shiro said with a smirk, “it's Monday.” 

 

“Wait, what does Monday mean?” Keith asked apprehensively, looking around the table at everyone's excited faces. Even Allura looked ready to kill, sweeping her thick hair up into a massive bun. 

 

“Monday means Soccer Day,” Hunk answered happily, adjusting his headband so it lied just right across his forehead. Keith took a moment to really study the people around him, and he noticed that they were all in sportswear. Shiro fashioned a tight under armour shirt with loose knee length shorts, Matt wearing a similar outfit but with sweats. Allura was wearing a t-shirt with cut off sleeves and a bright sports bra underneath, finished with bright leggings, Pidge was wearing an oversized shirt with basketball shorts, Hunk in almost the exact same outfit except much brighter, and then Lance was wearing a muscle shirt with leggings as well, making Keith have to look away. Most importantly, all of them were wearing tennis shoes. Keith himself was wearing a button down and his leather jacket, accompanied by ripped jeans and red chucks. He'd tried to dress a little nicer since it was his first day of school, but now he was regretting it. 

 

“Oh,” He said quietly, fidgeting with the zipper of his jacket. He hadn't realized it before, but he didn't even  _ look _ like he belonged with these people. 

 

“Don't worry, at least you don't have dress shoes on,” Lance breathed, casting an easy smile in Keith's direction. Keith wondered when Lance had the chance to notice what shoes he was wearing. Lance was joined by basically the entire table telling Keith that what he was wearing was fine, he'd have a lot of fun, and that they did this every Monday and it was always a blast. Keith tried to appreciate the sentiment, but mostly he just felt pitied. He ignored his inner turmoil as everyone got up to throw away their food and make their way to the soccer field. The field was entirely empty, even the surrounding areas were completely free of people. Keith kept glancing around, looking for any sign that this was still a part of the campus, but it seemed that all the students were sticking to the patio rather than the field.

 

“Everyone knows that we used this field on Mondays, and it can get pretty… heated. So everyone has learned to just stay away,” Allura told Keith, noticing Keith's curious eyes. Keith shivered at the face Allura made when she said ‘heated.’ Cleary, Keith wasn't the only competitive person here. Though he wasn't sure if he'd be able to get past his own initial apprehension about the whole game to find his drive. The group reached the soccer field and branched out individually to stretch. Keith didn't see the necessity, but decided to just stick to Shiro and do whatever he was doing. Shiro seemed very invested, doing stretches that Keith was sure he could have only learned in a yoga class. Keith tried his best to follow along, he was naturally a little flexible, but his jeans made everything incredibly difficult. He wound up just sitting on the grass next to his brother looking absolutely pathetic. He let his eyes wander the field, noticing how everyone seemed just as dedicated as Shiro. Allura looked incredibly serious in some impressive splits, and Lance and Hunk acted as a dream team in their combined stretches. Keith saw how competitive everyone was about soccer, but he didn't get a real taste until the game began. They were split between two small teams, Keith's team being himself, Hunk, Shiro, and Matt. The opposing team was Allura, Pidge, and Lance, but they had said something about another player joining later, his name being Corrin or something that Keith didn't fully hear. The game begun a little slowly, Keith being not exactly sure what to do and not being equipped with virtually any soccer skills. Everyone else fell right into place, maneuvering around the field like they were born to do it. Keith awkwardly shuffled around his side of the field, ending up having to discard his jacket under the unforgiving sun. He only managed to get close to the ball when Matt passed it to him out of sheer desperation due to the rest of their team being on the opposite side of the field, only to have it be stolen by none other than his soulmate. 

 

“What? Never played soccer before? There's no way your team can beat us just standing around like that,” Lance smirked before departing with a wink. Keith knew it was over then. There was no way he was gonna just take that. He had to win. He felt the familiar lick of determination singe his insides, and before he knew it he took off down the field, doing anything he could to get the ball back. 

 

“ _ There's _ my brother!” Keith heard Shiro shout from the other side of the field. He didn't realize he'd gotten that far from Shiro, who was their goalie, and was actually deep in the mess of this game on the opponent's side. He scrambled for the ball from Allura, still being weary about getting too close to this virtual stranger, but then Allura shoved past him with the force of an army, and he flew to the ground as if he weighed nothing.

 

“Don't hold back because she's a girl, Keith! That is a grave mistake!” Matt yelled, trying his hardest to block Pidge, though it seemed she knew her brother too well and managed to slip past him. Keith heard Allura cackle as she rushed the ball down the field, Lance and Pidge close behind. Hunk was close behind Allura, managing to almost snatch the ball from her before she decisively passed it to Lance, who had somehow gotten far beyond anyone else on the field. Keith booked it. He passed Hunk, who was much more successfully blocking Allura than Matt had done with Pidge. He passed Pidge as well, her short legs being no match for Keith's own gangly appendages. He was so close to Lance, he could feel the wind whip his hair back and out of his face. Lance side-eyed him and ran just a little faster. That small effort to gain an advantage made Keith want to push all the way to his limits because he could intensely feel how determined Lance was through the bond. It was so instinctual it was like a predator breathing down Keith's neck, and Keith was practically growling in response. Lance somehow heard his frustrated noises and managed to laugh. A bouncy laugh of exertion that communicated his refusal to lose. In that moment of distraction, Keith swiped his foot in between Lance’s to try and snatch the ball away from him. Lance did a weird little jump in retaliation that forced Keith to pull back for a second. He was utterly baffled because in one second, Lance’s back was almost touching his chest and in the next, Lance was dashing away from him madly. Keith couldn't place where the ball was until he saw that it was a couple of feet in front of Lance. Keith then understood that Lance had somehow executed some fancy feint to get Keith off his tail. How Lance had managed to kick the ball with the foot Keith wasn't watching in mid air was impossible to comprehend at the moment, so Keith just charged with all his leftover raw power towards Lance. Lance was cackling all the way until any air left in his lungs was forcibly pushed out by Keith's body. An audible  _ oof _ escaped from his mouth as Keith pounced at him, the soccer ball flying out of bounds. When the two landed, it was a blurry flash of limbs flailing and surprised shouts. The smell of grass and sweat permeated the air. Keith refused to let go of Lance's stupid tank top while Lance screamed in a way that in any other situation Keith would have found hilarious.

 

“Jesus Keith, what the hell is your problem?”

 

“Nothing! I was just trying to get the ball!” Keith yelled, his arms flinging in the direction of the now forgotten ball. “You were the one using illegal moves.”

 

“Ille-illegal?! That was a standard fake pullback and push. I'm sorry you're too inexperienced to notice it!”

 

Keith growled again before practically throwing Lance to the ground. Years of taekwondo gave him the advantage over Lance this time as he got on top of him and locked him in place. Lance squirmed and screamed, and Keith could see the rest of the group sprinting towards them, already calling for a time out.

 

“Why do you always think it's a good idea to tackle me? It really doesn't feel any better from last time; my whole body fucking hurts. Is it  _ that _ hard to keep your hands off of me?” Lance hissed into Keith's face. Keith completely froze, Lance's body still trapped under his grip. He had flashbacks to the night at the planetarium where Keith was once again desperate enough to win that he took Lance down with him. Lance's remark hit him like a slap in the face.

 

“Fine! Whatever! I'm sorry you're just impossible to deal with,” Keith spat, not really meaning any of it. He was ashamed he was the one who begged for personal space and time, yet he was the one who tackled Lance every time they had a disagreement. His face and neck were so hot with humiliation they were like a red beacon to anyone peering into the situation. Luckily, Lance understood his emotional turmoil through the bond and just sighed in defeat.

 

“Okay, okay, I sort of got caught up in the game. I'm sorry I bitched at you for using whatever tactic you could to stop me from  _ winning _ ,” Lance preened at the end. Keith sighed, rolling off Lance and picking grass out of the rips in his jeans.

 

“Yeah,  _ one  _ goal equates to winning,” Keith started, raising his hand when Lance looked like he was about to protest. “But whatever. I'm sorry too. I, uh, don't really know what came over me. I felt how you felt and just wanted to….I don't know,” Keith finished with a nervous hand raking through his messy hair. He wished he'd tied it up before all this, but he was too scared of any comments on it. That, and he almost always forgot to bring a hair tie with him. Keith heard fervent whispering now that he and Lance had sorted themselves out, and it grew louder to full on bickering as their friends neared. By now, the entire soccer group had gathered around the pile of limbs that was Lance and Keith, arguing amongst themselves and gesturing all over the place.

 

“That is clearly a foul! Nevermind not using your hands, he used his entire body to knock Lance out of the field!” Pidge bemoaned, hair particularly frazzled.

 

“Well, little sis, this was never a professional game, and we've certainly broken rules in the past. Keith is new, and I think it should be overlooked just this one time,” Matt reasoned with the attitude of a sleazy lawyer.

 

“It looks to me like you’re just scared of losing to us even more than you already are,” Allura nonchalantly commented while examining her cuticles.

 

“I’m sorry what? No no no no no, you guys were nothing against our upcoming strategy. Lance was using a cheap shot anyway by demonstrating a complicated move on a newbie, so who was  _ really _ losing?” Matt defended. Allura’s eyebrow twitched. She had several inches on Matt and the physique of an MMA fighter, so picking a fight with her was obviously a terrible idea. Keith got the feeling that she wasn't necessarily violent, but was the kind of person to hold her physical strength as a threat. Matt must've understood her overwhelming power, but was simply speaking without caution, always true to what was on his mind. Keith figured this wasn't the first time they had an argument like this. 

 

“Guys, are none of you worried about Keith and Lance? They might be injured, and we haven't even checked to see if they stopped fighting,” Shiro added, concern and irritation drawn on his face. Despite what he said, Shiro didn't even look over at Keith and Lance who were unashamedly eavesdropping. Their eyes found each other in amusement.

 

“You're the one who said we should just leave them to it. You know, “soulmate business” and all that,” Pidge sardonically commented. Hunk was in the background of the group argument eating a granola bar that he procured from God knows where. He noticed Keith's watchful eye and shrugged his shoulders, indicating that he had no idea what was going on either. Surprisingly, it was Lance who spoke up.

 

“Hey! We're right here and totally fine now, not that it seems like you guys are really that worried or anything. We're both ready to just brush this off and continue playing. No harm’s been done….except maybe to our egoes.”

 

“I think your ego needed to be taken down a few pegs anyway,” Keith mumbled with a knowing smile creeping on his face. He felt Lance's playful annoyance through the bond and he thought that if they just took a step back every once in awhile, they could be normal friends. Unfortunately, the silence that followed made Keith remember that not everyone was connected like they were. He immediately glanced apologetically at the group.

 

“From that tackle I'm guessing he's not the only one,” Pidge said, rolling her eyes. Matching indignant shouts of “hey!” from Keith and Lance accompanied her statement.

 

“Okay, let's just get back to the game,” Shiro sighed, hands massaging his strained temples. 

 

“Coran should be here soon, let's just wait for him,” Allura responded calmly. Keith wondered who Coran was, but didn't voice it. He felt he'd already said enough, not to mention the physical attacking of his soulmate. He just sat silently, watching the group circle around him. Everyone was chatting happily, making inside jokes that flew over Keith's head. The majority of them revolved around vines, and Keith for once regretted not jumping on the vine bandwagon when it was still running. Now he was left in the dark, laughing half heartedly whenever Shiro or Matt or even Pidge tried to include him in the conversation. It wasn't as isolating as he'd thought though, it was actually pleasant. These were the people that Shiro had surrounded himself with the past five years, and it was nice to see Shiro had chosen such kind and happy people. He even recognized them from the pictures tacked all over Shiro's walls, and for a moment, Keith thought he'd be able to be in the next picture to be put up. With his brother, and with these people who might eventually be his friends as well. Keith glanced around the group, noticing that he wasn't the only one who was staying quiet. Lance was staring off into space, his face serene and delicate. Keith noticed that his freckles seemed even darker under the blazing sun, dusting across the bridge of his nose and cheeks. His skin was blossoming a soft pink, reminiscent of a sunburn and Keith realized that he didn't put on or bring any sunscreen. He wondered if Lance actually did get sunburnt, or if his thoughts were the cause of the endearing blush. Keith himself turned bright pink after realizing he'd been observing Lance's face for too long, Lance's eyes flicking his way, noticing. Keith quickly looked away, fast enough to grab the attention of his brother, and his gut twisted uncomfortably. Shiro raised an eyebrow at Keith before turning his attention to Lance, who was also giving Keith a questioning look. Before Keith melted into a puddle of humiliation, someone else intervened. A tall, lanky older man stood before them with hands on his hips in a cliche pose. His bright orange hair and wide eyes took Keith off guard, but the whole group honestly wasn't the most monotonous looking anyway. 

 

“Coran Coran the gorgeous man has arrived!” The man who Keith could infer was Coran announced.

 

“Do you have to present yourself like that every time?” Pidge drawled, throwing herself back on the grass so she was lying down. Coran’s face suddenly became very stoic. 

 

“Absolutely.” 

 

After a proper introduction between Coran and Keith with Coran also being elated to meet Shiro's little brother, they began another game. This round was more organized, and Lance's team definitely had an advantage with Coran. The man was very skilled, and obviously versed in this sport. Keith tried his hardest to not drag down his own team, dashing as fast as he possibly could to get the ball or block another player, but he was mostly lost the entire game. The sun was bearing down on Keith as well, distracting him enough to the point where he took off his button up, clad in only a wifebeater now, and angrily threw it off the field. His hair was sticking to his forehead uncomfortably as well, and it seemed no matter how many times he pushed his bangs back they just fell back down into his eyes the next instant. The rest of Keith's team was honestly doing a good job, being used to playing against their friends. Keith tried not to let his lack of skill dishearten him, and Shiro's constant encouragements helped. Matt's pats on the back whenever he passed Keith were reassuring as well, and even Hunk’s bright smiles made Keith feel better. Surprisingly, even when they lost, Keith wasn't feeling as horrible as he normally would. The other team's victory was a small one anyway, only by a few points, but that didn't stop the entire team from gloating. Pidge was perpetually smirking, her tiny body somehow radiating superiority. Allura was harassing Matt and Shiro in a manner that did not match her regal appearance, and Coran and Lance were doing some sort of victory dance. Keith couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous they looked, and Hunk couldn't either. He was practically crying, holding his stomach and begging them to stop dancing or he might die.

 

“Okay, can we at least say it was a good game?” Shiro asked loudly, clearly addressing everyone but staring pointedly at Allura. The group became a chorus of agreement, and Shiro's smug face made Allura roll her eyes. Keith was growing to really like Allura, and her ability to tease competitively without sounding like an ass the way Keith always came off. He was beginning to like the way Matt’s crude intelligence rivaled that of Pidge’s but with a soft clumsiness that seemed warmer than his sister. Not that Pidge was cold, Keith realized, she was blunt. Her open and inquisitive eyes seemed to be able to read everything around her, breaking down anything as if it were a formula. Her wisdom from her intellect was what brought her friendliness. You could talk to her about anything, because she already knew the difference between the answer you want and the answer you need. It could be intimidating, Keith had felt intimidated at the start of their interaction himself, but her pure intentions and charming ability to be sarcastic without offending eased Keith's nerves. But Hunk was there as well to calm Keith. His bright, perpetual grin was enough to reel anyone in. His good sportsmanship at the end of the game, sweeping Keith up in another hug, said everything about him. He was warm when Keith was freezing, isolated in his own coldness, and Keith really enjoyed being around him. Even Lance brought something Keith hadn't seen before, too blinded by his own fear to actually see Lance as a friend. He was obnoxious and over the top about everything, but he was also considerate and really competitive as well. He made Keith want to do better, made him motivated.

 

Keith realized a lot as his team's loss was slowly forgotten, replaced by ride situations and pleasantries. He realized what he liked individually about everyone around him, subconsciously calculating and over thinking, and he realized something terrifying. He was happy. It was exhilarating and paralyzing at the same time. He shrugged off Shiro's attempt to apologize for not being able to take him home after taking him to school that morning, something about having to get roomate stuff with Matt, but Keith just mumbled something along the lines of ‘it's fine.’ He was too lost in his own head to really comprehend what was happening around him. He was happy. For the first time in a long time, he was genuinely happy, and he'd even met his soulmate and was still happy. He could feel this way after his biggest fear came true, and Lance even had a part in his happiness. The thought was jarring, and left Keith feeling very lost and a little… satisfied. He was not just his constant running, he was a person that could reach out to others. 

 

He didn't have to be alone.

 

Another thought was poking at his mind, begging to come to the forefront. He couldn't hold it back, no matter how hard he tried, because he knew from experience, when he is so high up the only place to go is back down. At least when he was sad, back in high school, living life doing anything to break him out of his own monotony, he couldn't fall any lower. All he had was room to get better, but  _ this _ , this was dangerous. For once though, Keith welcomed it. He welcomed the anxiety his thoughts brought him because having something to lose means having something in the first place. He'd already decided that he wasn't running anymore, and for some reason it seemed like life was testing him. Giving him more and more things to push his boundaries, but he was finally ready to face them all. 

 

Keith was suddenly shocked from his reverie when Hunk called out to him.

 

“Hey Keith! Wanna ride home with me? Lance already called shotgun, but I'm sure it'll still be a lot of fun. More fun than walking home anyway,” Hunk cheerfully offered. Keith was still in a bit of a stupor after being ripped from his own tumbling thoughts so abruptly and took his time answering.

 

“I….uh….I wou--I would like that. Yeah, uh, thanks, Hunk.”

 

The broad man just smiled in response and motioned for Keith to follow. He walked with a bounce in his step, humming to himself. Keith felt warmer just standing next to a person so similar to the sun. Pidge sidled up right next to Hunk with obvious exhaustion written all over her face, and Lance was practically in the air, jumping around with all his unspent energy.

 

“I can't wait to play Shakira! Keith, you're about to witness pieces of my soul,” Lance practically squealed.

 

“Because shotgun always gets the aux, and Lance would rather die than go a day without music, we usually let Lance sit up front anyway,” Hunk explained. Keith was sure this simple ride home was about to be a lot more tiring than if he had just walked. As they all approached Hunk’s car in the parking lot, Keith realized something.

 

“Is that….a minivan?” Keith apprehensively questioned.

 

“Yeah kinda adds to the whole soccer mom vibe, doesn't it?” Hunk easily replied, already unlocking the car. Keith slipped in on the right side, right behind the passenger seat. All four of them put their backpacks and other belongings in the empty back row and buckled up. Two seconds after Hunk started the car and began backing out, Lance plugged in his phone and turned up the stereo. A recognizable trumpet began playing with Lance almost vibrating in his seat. When the lyrics actually began, Keith grasped that Lance somehow knew  _ every _ part of the song. His voice took on a feminine lilt and his arms danced around like a snake charmer. He was completely in his element. Hunk hyped him up by belting out the male part, and they made a particularly fine duo. Their dynamic made Pidge scream with laughter. Keith, however, didn't find it so funny. Keith was entranced by Lance unashamedly enjoying his Colombian idol. His eyes traced every one of Lance’s movements and lingered on his exhilarated expression despite the limited view behind the seat. The beat of the music thrummed through his body like a drum. Keith was thankful for Hunk joining in the performance, for it would have been utterly  _ indecent _ if Lance was the only one acting like that. Lance, in that moment, was some belly-dancing seductress that no one could stop, and Keith was turning red from embarrassment. Pidge didn't seem to care and was sometimes even singing along while Keith was stuck to his seat, sweat beading on his neck and fingers nervously tapping. As the song came to an end, with the familiar trumpet once again playing its final tune, Lance sagged against the car seat and dramatically exclaimed, “See! My hips really don't fucking lie.”

 

“No one ever questioned you,  _ tagata _ . I don't think you’d ever lose a dance battle,” Hunk commented amicably. He was such a relaxed driver that Keith was almost scared he wasn't watching the road.

 

“Broooooo, I know the perfect song for right now!” Lance said, out of breath from excitement.

 

“Oh my God, of course you'd play that song right now,” Pidge groaned, head thumping the car seat in defeat.

 

“Don't act like you don't like it, Pidge, we know you secretly adore musicals just as much as we do,” Lance sniffed in mock offense. Keith's ears perked up at the word ‘musical’. Like Pidge, he was a bit of a closet musical lover. In high school nearly all of his acquaintances were either dance kids or theatre kids, and both groups really loved musicals. Keith got sucked in and never really made it back out. He waited with his breath held to hear the song, and as soon as the music began he immediately knew what it was from. Lance was bouncing with excitement in the front seat, and began singing along loudly. 

 

“How does a ragtag volunteer army in need of a shower,  _ somehow _ defeat a global superpower?” 

 

Before Keith could stop himself, he was singing quietly along as well. 

 

“How do we emerge victorious from the quagmire? Leave the battlefield waving Betsy Ross’ flag higher?”

 

Unfortunately, Pidge heard him. 

 

“No not you too, Keith! I thought you'd be cooler than this,” Pidge drawled, dramatically flinging herself back in her seat. Lance's head immediately turned around so fast Keith thought he might have gotten whiplash. His blue eyes were wide with excitement, and he looked at Keith with a mixture of hope and suspicion. 

 

“ _ You _ like Hamilton?” Lance asked incredulously, stressing the word ‘you’ in a way that instantly flared Keith's nerves. What, he couldn't like musicals? 

 

“Yes,  _ I _ like Hamilton. It's my favorite musical actually,” Keith paused, debating if he should say this, but the look of smug disbelief on Lance's face pushed him. “And I can rap this whole song.” 

 

Hunk gasped at that, and Keith couldn't see his face but he knew there was an expression of excitement there. Lance raised his eyebrows, his plush lips quirked in a crooked smirk. He leaned farther into the back, getting closer to Keith. 

 

“I'll have you know that I am the biggest Hamilton fan out there, but if you can  _ really _ rap this song  _ with _ the french accent,  _ prove it _ ,” Lance challenged, his eyes twinkling with mischief. Keith bristled, feeling equally embarrassed that he ever opened his mouth and determined to prove to Lance that he was not all talk. He felt his face heating at the thought of rapping in front of these three people he still didn't really know, but Lance took his momentary silence as cowardice. 

 

“Better hurry up, it's gonna start in 3… 2…” 

 

“Fine!” Keith interrupted, taking a deep breath, and closing his eyes. Lance continued singing Aaron Burr’s part, giving a dramatic flourish to his mini performance. Keith tried to calm his nerves, he was never one to enjoy an entire group's attention focused solely on him, unlike Lance, but he was also never one to back down from a challenge. He knew this song like the back of his hand, and he could spit the lyrics with ease. He wouldn't say he was a rapper, far from it, but when he loved a song he was completely devoted. 

 

“LAFAYETTE!!” The entire car screamed, and Keith felt a surge of confidence. He felt the lyrics tumble off his tongue easily, and he was starting to get into it. 

 

“LAFAYETTE!!” The car screamed even more excitedly, pumping Keith up. His voice raised with inflection, emotion, enthusiasm. He used his hands for emphasis, and his eyes darted around the car, watching Lance's eyes widen, Pidge scramble in her pocket for something, and Hunk had to brake check at a light because he was preoccupied watching Keith through his rearview mirror. They all laughed, the next shout of ‘Lafayette!’ filled with mirth and hidden giggles. Keith almost stumbled through the next line because he was smiling so wide, but he kept going strong. Everyone in the car was feeding off his energy, and he was doing the same. Feeling more and more excited and just happy each time everyone screamed ‘Lafayette!’ once more. He could feel Lance's joy as well, his genuine shock at Keith being able to rap the song, as well as a strong sense of admiration. Keith would have flushed at the swell in his chest, but he was too caught up in the song. 

 

“I come back with more guns, and ships, and so the balance shifts,” 

 

“We rendezvous with Rochambeau, consolidate their gifts,” Lance broke in exuberantly, filling his role as George Washington. His smile was wide, and he kept eye contact with Keith the entire time. Suddenly, Keith felt as if it were just him and Lance. He felt their connection increase tenfold, and he couldn't tear his eyes away from Lance's even if he wanted to. Keith continued his part, “We can end this war at Yorktown, cut them off at sea, but   
For this to succeed, there is someone else we need:”

 

“I know,” Lance interrupted, continuing off Keith as if their parts were within one shared breath. The entire car broke out in another yell, even Pidge was getting into it, throwing her hands up and joining the chorus of “HAMILTON!” Keith continued the short amount of the rest of his part, but his focus was no longer on the song. It seemed as if the whole word was focusing on Lance, on his soft freckles, his sharp features, his deep blue eyes. Keith watched as Lance took on his part, singing soulfully and Keith was surprised at how nice Lance's voice was. Hunk and Pidge didn't seemed phased however, and as the song drew to an end, Keith had to shake himself out of whatever trance he'd just been in. 

 

“Holy shit Keith that was awesome!” Hunk was the first to speak after the song ended, his smile blinding as he glanced back at Keith through his mirror. Keith felt a very sudden and very strong wave of embarrassment wash over him, the thought that he had actually just done that making his insides squirm. 

 

“Yeah I've already gotten like 10 replies to my story about it,” Pidge laughed, but Keith went pale. 

 

“You're  _ story?!”  _ He gasped, staring at Pidge like she'd just betrayed him beyond forgiveness. She just smiled up at Keith, from the outside looking convincingly sweet, but Keith could see the evil humor in her eyes. 

 

“But really Keith, that was amazing. I will recognize you as another Hamilton fanatic,” Lance said with his nose in the air. 

 

“Oh, because I need your official recognition in order to be a Hamilton fan,” Keith said sarcastically, completely forgetting about Pidge's snapchat story at the prospect of poking fun at Lance. 

 

“Exactly,” Lance winked, turning back to face the front and searching through his phone for another song. Before he could pick one though, Pidge's phone started ringing loudly, Keith glanced over to see that Matt was calling her. She picked up and put it on speaker, and immediately the car was filled with what sounded like a struggle for the phone. 

 

“Why didn't you use your phone-” Keith recognized Matt's voice, though he sounded far away. 

 

“PIDGE!” Keith heard Shiro shout, and then there was some static, more struggling between Matt and Shiro to grab the phone. 

 

“PIDGE DID I ACTUALLY MISS MY BROTHER RAPPING PLEASE TELL ME I DID NOT MISS THAT!” Shiro's distressed voice nearly broke the speaker of Pidge's phone, but she just started laughing. 

 

“Oh no you really did miss it Shiro. It was amazing. Really a spectacular performance-” Pidge couldn't continue speaking, breaking out into a hysteric laugh at the pained groans coming from Shiro on the phone. He was being rather dramatic in Keith's opinion, sounding more like a distressed whale than a human. There was another shuffle on the phone, and then Matt's voice was filling the car. 

 

“So you guys decide to have all the fun without us, I hope you realize how much you are hurting Shiro,” Matt mocked a serious voice, giving himself away when he could barely conceal a chuckle of his own. Shiro was still groaning loudly in the background, pretending to be hysterically sobbing. 

 

“Sorry dad!” Pidge, Hunk, and Lance all said at the same time, making Keith have to cover his mouth to hide his smile. 

 

“You have to show me another time Keith! You have to!” Shiro was shouting through the phone again. 

 

“Fat chance,” Keith replied, only to be met with the displeased groans of not only the two on the phone, but also everyone else in the car. He just rolled his eyes, trying his hardest to hide his amusement. Shiro continued to complain, even going as far as threatening Keith with ‘having to listen to his older brother and rapping for him,’ but Keith finally was able to weasel out of the conversation when they arrived at his apartment building. 

  
“Yeah you can lecture me another time Shiro, I have to go. Bye guys!” Keith called out, waving to everyone in the car as he stepped out. They all said bye back happily, promising of future hangouts and more lunches together. His eyes caught Lance's for a split second, but Keith quickly turned away, walking up the steps of his building. He burst into his apartment, flinging himself down on his mattress face down. He'd felt a wide range of emotions in his short day, and he was exhausted. Exhausted, but extremely content. He'd basically been on the verge of a panic attack after he'd finished his classes, and rather than isolating himself to suffer through it alone, he'd been able to distract himself and feel much better with his… friends. Keith knew he'd have to face his daunting thoughts of his future sooner or later, he'd have to face the anxiety he'd ignored today, but now it didn't seem too scary. He wasn't alone. He'd have to get used to it, he'd have to  _ let _ himself not be alone, but he knew it would just take time. Keith had all the time in the world to adjust. He was ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back! So just a few notes here, our other coauthor Warm Pages researched the Samoan word for man as in a friendly greeting, and found the word tagata. Neither of us are Samoan so if this is incorrect or there is a better word please let us know!  
> And here are some links for the references in this chapter  
> This is the vine Hunk quotes  
> https://youtu.be/gnavcUHC6zc
> 
> And this is the Shakira song  
> https://youtu.be/DUT5rEU6pqM
> 
> And here is the Hamilton song  
> https://youtu.be/Ovje92D742s


	5. Moonflower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith had an eventful day. He does not like scary movies, but he does like his new friends.

Keith started his classes the next day with a much brighter mind set than he had the day before. He’d woken up sore absolutely everywhere, but after an extremely hot shower and a handful of ibuprofen, he was feeling refreshed. It had been a very long time since he’d been sore, and it gave him a sense of accomplishment. This was physical proof that he had done something worth doing. Not only that, but all of the events that occurred the day before left him so exhausted that he actually slept. Not his short interval of sleep between days of being awake, but an actual full night’s worth of sleep. It put him in such a good mood that he even bothered with a proper breakfast. He woke up early and faced his very barren fridge with disdain. He had one lone egg in the back of his vegetable drawer, and three pieces of bread. He thought about running to the store to buy some more ingredients, but then had to go on his phone and face his very barren bank account. In the end, an egg and a piece of toast wasn’t exactly a proper breakfast, but he still sent a text to Shiro anyway saying that he was being a real grown up. He enjoyed his feast in the comfort of his favorite bathrobe, mostly because he was too lazy to put clothes on but also because his bathrobe was the softest garment to ever touch his body. This leisurely morning and sad confrontation with the vast emptiness of his fridge made Keith think of a few things. One, he needed a job so he could buy food, and two, he needed a job so he could buy weed. He would have spent the whole morning making hypothetical plans for applying for jobs and finding plugs but he was abruptly jarred from his thoughts by his phone vibrating. 

 

**[Shiro: 10:23 am]**

**What do u mean by ‘proper’**

 

Keith rolled his eyes.

 

**[Me: 10:23 am]**

**I mean it’s not cereal**

 

Keith got a response immediately.

 

[ **Shiro: 10:23 am]**

**Pics rn**

 

**[Me: 10:24 am]**

**Too late I already ate it**

 

**[Shiro: 10:24 am]**

**Keith**

 

**[Me: 10:26 am]**

**...ok fine it was an egg on toast**

 

Keith breathed a laugh and threw his phone down on his bed. He decided he needed to be dressed and have brushed his teeth before he could deal with his brother’s lectures on taking care of himself. Perhaps texting him first had been a mistake. Keith quickly showered, brushed his teeth and hair, and got dressed. Only then did he check his phone and see that Shiro had blown him up. 

 

**[Shiro: 10:27 am]**

**Okay tbh i was expecting worse but that’s still not a proper breakfast**

 

**[Shiro: 10:27 am]**

**Do u even know what that is**

 

**[Shiro: 10:28 am]**

**U know who does tho**

 

Keith felt his stomach drop. It was seriously too early for this. He made a mental note to never text his brother before noon.

 

**[Shiro: 10:29 am]**

**HA you thought I was going to say Lance huh**

 

Keith cursed under his breath. He  _ did  _ think Shiro was going to say Lance. He’d been around Pidge too much.

 

**[Shiro: 10:30 am]**

**Lance is as bad as u r except he can actually cook so it’s almost worse**

 

**[Shiro: 10:30 am]**

**I was going to say Hunk. U should take him with you when u go grocery shopping. Matt and I almost always bring him along**

 

**[Shiro: 10:31 am]**

**Actually I think all of us bring Hunk grocery shopping**

 

**[Shiro: 10:31 am]**

**Omg who does Hunk go with then when he’s grocery shopping**

 

Keith rolled his eyes, shoving his phone in his pocket and locking his apartment as he left. His neighborhood was quiet as he walked out to where his bike was parked. It wasn’t too early that no one was awake, but Keith got the feeling he lived in a place that was sparsely populated. He never saw any neighbors, never heard any noises in the night (aside from the occasional car driving down the street), and the only time he ever spoke to anyone in the building was just to pay his rent to his landlord. Even then, he and his landlord never actually have conversations, Keith paid online most of the time and so he hadn’t actually spoken to his landlord since he contacted him about renting the apartment. It was strange, but Keith didn’t mind the quiet. He did feel a bit bad about how loud his bike was though. It seemed to pierce through the street, rudely revving away the silence. He drove to school quickly, counting the red cars that passed by. 

 

Keith’s first class was rather full when he arrived. At least, it seemed full even though there weren’t actually many students in the room. It was just one student that seemed to fill the air with his presence, his voice filling all the abandoned spaces of the large classroom. Keith froze in the doorway, wondering if he could slip out without being seen. His contemplation made his turn a second too late, and he felt a hand clap down on his shoulder. In an instant, Keith was filled with pure elation and excitement, and he had to yank away from the contact. 

 

“Whoa, sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Lance laughed airily, scratching behind his neck. “I didn’t know we had this class together. Now we both have someone we know!” Lance smiled that bright smile of his, making something in Keith’s stomach turn. He was grateful that he didn’t have to start another class surrounded by strangers, and Lance was being very patient and enthusiastic about their entire situation. Keith had to take a deep breath and let go of his initial anxiety about seeing Lance in his class. Sure, any other person from his new “friends” would have been better, but he figured this was good too. They had been sort of bonding in their past couple interactions, right? Keith smiled back at Lance, granted it was nowhere near as bright as the other’s million watt smile, but it was something. Keith could feel the waves of gratitude fly off Lance and crash into him. Lance must have been a little nervous that Keith would shun him out again, and Keith rolled his eyes. He could be just as surprising as Lance was. 

 

“I’m glad that you’re here Keith, I keep trying to talk to the people around me but they all look at me like I’m an alien,” Lance theatrically shivered as he sat down, gesturing for Keith to sit next to him. Keith had to suppress a small chuckle. 

 

“I’m glad too. I’m not very good at making friends or talking to people in general so now I can just bother you when I have questions,” Keith mumbled as he took out his notebook and pencils. He felt something from Lance deep in his stomach, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. 

 

“I think  _ I’m  _ the one who will be bothering  _ you  _ with questions actually. Shiro told us all about his space genius brother who won a science fair in middle school by creating a complete blueprint for a spaceship that doesn’t exist yet,” Lance said, tucking a pencil behind his ear and kicking his feet up on the chair in front of their shared desk. 

 

“Shiro is a gossip,” Keith sighed.

 

“Nah, he’s just proud,” Lance smiled, carefully trying to look at Keith from the corner of his eye without being too obvious. For some reason, Keith felt his face flush a bit. He wasn’t really sure how to respond to that but was saved by the professor walking in and starting class. It started off with basic introductory speeches, going over the syllabus, and writing down what supplies they’ll need for the class. Keith tried to pay attention, but his mind kept wandering. Lance was tapping his foot incessantly to some song in his head, and Keith kept wondering what song it was. The pencil that was behind Lance’s ear was staying there somehow. Every time Keith tried to put anything behind his ears it always fell out immediately. It seemed unfair. Lance’s fingers started tapping on his crossed arms in time with his internal song. Despite his obvious restlessness, Keith found that Lance looked sorta cool in that moment. Relaxed yet excited.

 

Lance’s eye caught his.

 

But there was no way Keith would ever say that to Lance's face, he thought as he quickly looked away and tried to listen to what the professor was saying. This was an introductory class to astrophysics, and Keith needed to pay attention to do well. This program was top notch in the country since the entire university specialized in outer space and engineering. Excitement bubbled in his chest but so did fear. Fear that he'd fall behind. Sometimes, Keith felt like the only thing he was good at was drawing, and even then, he sometimes felt like a failure there too. Lance finally stopped tapping and began playing with the pencil behind his ear. Without even looking at Keith, he mumbled, “Jesus fucking Christ the introduction is always sooooo boring. I wish we could just get to the actual learning.”

 

“You know the syllabus is important right? Kinda determines your assignments and lectures for the rest of the semester,” Keith amicably scoffs. Lance switches from staring at the professor's power-point to glaring at the ceiling.

 

“All of this is just too much reading. I wanna get to the math already.”

 

“You? Being too impatient for some introductory reading that will eventually help you prosper in a globally acknowledged space program?  _ Shocker _ ,” Keith teases. Lance finally looks at Keith. In disbelief, he smiles and whispers, “It's not that I'm too impatient, I'm just dyslexic, you dolt.”

 

He turns back to the presentation and pops his pencil into his mouth with a gleeful smirk while Keith slowly turns vermilion. Keith was aware he was joking, but he still felt caught off guard when he was finally relaxing around someone. It was a bit of a wake up call. Lance kept him on his toes.

 

“Keith, you know I'm just messing with you, right?”

 

“You mean you  _ don't _ have a learning disability?”

 

“Oh no, I do, I'm just aware you haven't been around me long enough to know that. I wanted to see how you'd react since you're so weird about everything. Sorry if I freaked you out. Plus, I sorta assumed my texting would've given me away by now,” Lance casually explained. Now that he really thought about it, Keith recalls plenty of Lance's garbled texts that he assumed were from excitement or intoxication. Over text, Lance mostly speaks  _ at _ him instead of  _ with _ him, but that's not his fault. It's usually because Keith doesn't know what to say, so he just periodically reads Lance's random texts throughout the day with no response. 

 

“I am not weird about everything,” Keith grumbled, quickly glancing at the professor to see if he noticed them talking. The professor was so old Keith wasn't sure if they were yelling, he would be able to hear them. Lance stifled a guffaw, covering his mouth with his hand and shaking his head. Keith raised and eyebrow. 

 

“You absolutely  _ are _ weird about everything,” Lance managed through his silent laughter. The gleam in his eye and the happy buzzing that Keith felt from him made it very obvious that Lance was enjoying himself. The professor began to speak a bit louder as if he knew they were talking and disrupting his class. Keith was not keen on looking like a bad student so early in the game, so he resorted to ignoring Lance. Barely two minutes had passed when Lance’s foot twitched and, all of a sudden, shifted to be right next to Keith's. Keith carefully glanced at Lance, just out of the corner of his eye, to see if he did it on purpose. Lance looked completely unaware of their feet touching, so Keith went back to listening to the lecture and doodling all over his new notebook. If Lance didn’t notice then Keith could not notice too. Even though all Keith could seem to do was notice. He was hyper aware of their legs and holding his completely still to avoid anymore touching. He was starting to get a cramp in his calf when he felt something tap his ankle. Keith dropped his favorite pen on the desk in exasperation. This was incredibly distracting. Keith tried to subtly find out if Lance actually  _ was  _ doing this on purpose. He didn't want to give himself away, so he scoped the scene without moving his head. Lance's foot wasn't on his, but it was closer than before. Lance was silent for the first time in ten minutes, so it had to be on purpose right?  _ Aha _ ! There it is; he did it again. It was a soft tap on his ankle that Keith knew was supposed to provoke him. God, this was like a really abnormal game of footsies. Keith refused to respond in any way, so he kept staring ahead. Lance fidgeted in his seat as if he couldn't find a comfortable position, and Keith knew he was a ticking time bomb.

 

“God, you definitely are weird about everything. Just play the game damn it. I'm  _ bored _ . This is what friends do; they play games,” Lance blurted quietly.

 

“You're being childish. What's even the purpose? Are there established rules that were created after fourth grade?”

 

“Oh my god I haaaate you. The purpose is to tap each other until one of us gives up. It’s more serious than you think, and I think you should at least try before passing judgement,” Lance sighed dramatically, probably being louder than he should have been. “You can play dirty to make it more fun if you want. Take Pidge for example; after a while, she starts crushing your toes and stabbing your thigh with pencils. Hunk, on the other hand, keeps tapping for so long that you physically have to give up, or you'll suffer an aneurysm. My personal tactic is tapping inconsistently, so you forget about it and are cruelly reminded over and over again. Annoying people is my specialty, so I'd like to say I'm pretty good at the game. Are you not up to the challenge?” Lance rambled. Keith stared with his eyes narrowed and mouth slightly agape. How did he manage to befriend someone so… eccentric? He shook his head and faintly chuckled, “Okay...so any tactics go? I can use my hands?”

 

Lance’s whole face brightened. He leaned over and whispered right into Keith's ear, “Yes, yes, of course. I know you're taking pity on me because of my poor, poor dyslexia, but I'll take it.”

 

He got out of Keith's breathing space and gently tapped his ankle again. For the first time, Keith tapped back. He didn't want to admit it, but he was really shaken from Lance getting so close to him. He smelled nice, like something citrus. His presence seemed to surround Keith, and his voice made Keith's insides writhe. Every time he tapped, it was like forcefully pushing Lance away, except that Lance actually liked it. Keith increased how hard he tapped Lance until he was practically kicking Lance under the table, but he just kept giggling under his hand. Lance ended up employing his favorite tactic of waiting and then striking when Keith wasn’t expecting it, and it left Keith on edge. After Lance gently tapped him for the billionth time, Keith thought  _ fuck it _ and lashed out at Lance's leg. With lightning fast speed, he grabbed his thigh and squeezed right above the knee cap. It was everyone's tickle spot. Before Lance could pry him off, he latched on and squeezed until Lance begged him to let go. His other leg was thumping in hysterical misery, and he was biting his lip so hard it turned white. Keith still took an extra minute before releasing Lance and felt smug as ever. He always rose to the challenge. 

 

Lance was bent over with his face hidden in his elbow attempting to stifle his laughter. It wasn't working very well, and when he lifted his face, there were tear stains all over his rosy freckles. He was absolutely losing it.

 

“You know, people usually stop laughing when the tickling stops,” Keith huffed.

 

“We have totally established you are weird about everything but god, do you fit in with us. I'm so happy we're--”

 

“ _ Gentlemen. _ Would you prefer to take over presenting to the class? I will gladly step down if you have something better to share. You've already made your presence well known so why not?” 

 

Damn it the dinosaur could actually hear. Everyone stared at Keith and Lance; some with acidic judgement and some with innocent curiosity. Keith was overwhelmingly embarrassed, and almost in an instant his breathing began to hitch in his chest. Great job impressing the professor. Keith felt his stomach drop so quick it was painful. He just had to play Lance’s stupid game. He had to feel accepted, even if it was by the person he’d been running from his entire life. He was pathetic really, and this was exactly why he didn’t reach out. If he had just ignored Lance and sat somewhere far away this wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t have been put on his professor’s shit list in exchange for what? A sort of conversation with his soulmate that was probably going to lead to nowhere? Sure, they could be friends, but then what? What good did being friends and playing childish games do when their endgame was nothing? Keith didn’t want a soulmate. Lance did. This was fucked from the start. 

 

“Um no thank you, professor. Sorry for the interruption, we'll keep it down,” Lance spoke clearly, a smile still on his face. Keith was shaken from his thoughts by Lance’s voice, and it was as if he was coming up for air after being underwater. He shoved his shaking hands in his pockets and crossed his legs, completely pulling his ankle away from Lance’s. Keith hoped that Lance wouldn’t notice anything: how his mood plummeted in literally an instant, how his core was shaking, how his breathing was fast and irregular, how incredibly  _ weird  _ he was about a simple scolding from a professor. But of course, given their close proximity and their futile soul connection, Lance knew something was wrong. Surprisingly though, he didn’t comment on it or even look at Keith. Instead, he simply put his hand on Keith’s knee under the desk and did something strange. Keith didn’t really know how, but he immediately felt himself calming down, a warmth in his chest sprouting and vining out across his limbs. It was coming from Lance, he could tell, but it was also somehow his own emotion. It was different from having his own separate feelings while observing Lance’s through their connection. Lance was  _ sharing  _ his emotions rather than just showing them, and he was doing it to help Keith. The latter wanted to feel patronized, get angry and say he didn’t need Lance’s help, especially not with this weird soulmate thing that he didn’t understand, but all he could feel was grateful. Lance’s hand was warm and comforting, and Keith would honestly take anything over the panic he had just been feeling. He was a little… touched. He didn’t want to say it though, and from the small smile on Lance’s face, Keith knew he didn’t have to. His cheeks were flushed and his heart racing, but he was calm.

The rest of class was rather uneventful, and Keith was glad. Lance seemed to pick up that the game was over, though Keith had the feeling that he was just going to bring it back another day, claiming that it was his waiting strategy. Lance’s hand stayed on Keith’s knee even after his anxiety subsided, for the comfort of touch rather than Lance doing whatever weird soulmate shit he did before. Keith thought about pulling away, but he figured that was too much work. He was over the social stress and just wanted to focus on class. That, and only that, was why Keith shifted slightly closer, so Lance didn’t have to reach so far. It was easier than fighting again, or hurting Lance again, or risking Lance saying something loud enough that the teacher would call them out again. Keith could just write his notes in peace, with the warmth of Lance’s weirdly elegant hand spreading throughout his whole body. He could feel Lance’s contentment through the bond, though he didn’t really need it. Lance’s mouth was set in the softest smile Keith had ever seen, his other hand jotting down the energetic scribble that was Lance’s handwriting. He was left handed, Keith noticed. So was Keith. 

When the class was finally dismissed, Keith only noticed because suddenly his knee felt very cold. That was when Keith realized how weird it was that Lance had his hand on his knee under their desk virtually all of class. Sure, the whole friends thing was a little knew to Keith, at least real friends, but he was pretty sure they didn’t do that. It was weirdly intimate despite being so small. Not to mention Lance calming Keith down through their link. He knew Keith was about to panic, and instantly did whatever he could to prevent it. Keith didn’t know what to think about that. 

He quickly gathered his things, standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder. He and Lance silently walked towards the door, Keith just behind. It was weird with Lance being so quiet, but Keith could feel his satisfaction like cool water dripping down his back. Lance was simply just so calm that he didn’t need to say anything at all. Keith, on the other hand, was spiraling down into overthinking, making it impossible for him to come up with something to say. His mind was replaying everything that they said to each other during class, analyzing every detail. Right as they reached the hallway, about to split ways, Keith realized something. Lance had told him he was dyslexic. Lance had given Keith a part of himself, and Keith hadn’t said anything in return. It was uneven. Keith hated when things were uneven. 

Lance stopped just before they were going to split up, turning to Keith and saying a friendly goodbye that Keith didn’t really catch. All he could hear was his heartbeat in his ears. He had to make things even.  Without thinking, Keith reached out and grabbed Lance’s sleeve and caught him before he turned to leave. Lance raised an eyebrow, looking more concerned than anything. Keith felt his mouth moving before he could even process what he wanted to say.

 

“I-I have anxiety,” Keith blurted out, dropping Lance’s sleeve as if it was on fire as soon as he realized what he said. He just started at Lance, wide eyed and slightly sweaty. 

“... Okay,” Lance trailed off, a smile just barely quirking the sides of his lips. He was clearly waiting for Keith to elaborate.

“I m-mean, you told me that-that you have dyslexia… So um, now… Now we’re even,” Keith punctuated the end of his sentence with a nod. He did it. He made things even and gave Lance information that he didn’t really tell people. He hadn’t even officially told Shiro about his anxiety, though he was sure his brother already knew. It wasn’t a secret or something that he was ashamed of, just as he was sure Lance wasn’t ashamed of his dyslexia. It was just something personal, something that made him vulnerable. Something that he didn’t want to be used as a reason to look down on him, and he knew Lance wouldn’t. Though Lance did look like he wanted to laugh. Keith could feel an almost violent bloom of warmth spread across his chest coming from Lance, and he tried to ignore that fact that it felt eerily similar to fondness. 

“You kn…” Lance trailed off, turning his head away to try and subtly hide his smile before seeming to give up and just face Keith. He looked bashful, his smile shy and soft, and it was incredibly confusing considering Keith was the one who just blurted out something very personal. 

“Ah, thanks. I really appreciate you telling me, Keith,” Lance said warmly, his eyes boring into Keith’s. Keith felt as if Lance wanted to say more, but settled on that. He let it slide though, nodding quickly and muttering a small “it’s nothing,” before turning and heading to his next class. His chest still felt hot for hours after. 

 

******************

 

Keith realized later, as he sat down to have lunch with Pidge and Hunk, that Lance was probably going to say he already knew Keith had anxiety. He literally felt Keith's anxiety all the time. But Lance’s last statement resonated more with Keith now, because Lance was grateful that Keith told him. He didn't leave Lance to assume, or let their bond give away all his information. He told Lance himself. That was a big step and they both recognized it. 

 

“Earth to Keith,” Pidge’s clear voice startled Keith from his thoughts, her small hand waving in front of his face. He hadn't even registered that Pidge and Hunk had sat down and started a conversation, he was so busy thinking about Lance. Keith shook his head.

 

“S-sorry, I was just thinking about something,” Keith explains, eyes still slightly distant.

 

“Okay well, Hunk and I were just inquiring as to how your classes went today. You seem less frazzled than you did yesterday although I'm beginning to question that statement,” Pidge said with one eyebrow raising higher and higher as she spoke.

 

“Class went…decently,” Keith mumbles through his hands covering his face, “Lance and I managed to get in trouble with the professor halfway through the lecture though, and it was mortifying,” 

 

“Wait, you have class with Lance?” Pidge interrupted. She opened her mouth for what Keith was sure to be a barrage of questions, but was quickly shushed by Hunk. He quietly motioned toward a girl in the back of the cafeteria, and Keith had to look for a moment before he saw who Hunk was referring to.

 

“Speaking of Lance, look who it is,” Hunk said with a malice that Keith never thought he'd hear from Hunk.

 

“Uuuugh is it even legal for her to be here? It's not like she even goes to Altea,” Pidge grumbled. The girl had blonde hair in a long, sleek ponytail that started at the top of her head and reached the middle of her back. She was lean and taller than average, like a model with an artificial smile to match. Pidge scoffed, and she whipped her head to face their table at lightning speed. All Keith could focus on was the coldness of her eyes. They were grey like wet stone and analytical-- judging. The girl turned her head in Keith's direction, as if she could feel eyes on her. She was too far away to actually see Keith, but he swore he felt their eyes connect. He was suddenly prey, with her piercing eyes sinking into him like teeth. But then she turned back to whatever she was doing and Keith felt like he could breathe again. The girl's laugh resonated through the dining hall like a bell as she wrapped herself around some guy Keith had never seen before. Just from a glance, Keith knew he would never want to associate with her. 

 

“Wait-- what does  _ she _ have to do-- do with Lance?” Keith asks, complete confusion tinting his voice. Pidge and Hunk glanced at each other as if they'd already said too much. Pidge raised her hands in surrender while shaking her head in a silent plea of “not me”. Hunk sighed and finally turned to face Keith.

 

“Okay, so this isn't really our business to share, but since it's already out there, we'll give a short summary. This is the one and only time we'll bring it up because it carries unpleasant memories for all of us, ya know?” Hunk gently prefaces. Keith didn't know how to react, so he stayed silent and waited for Hunk to continue. 

 

“You know that Pidge, Lance, and I all went to high school together, right?” Hunk started, looking slightly apprehensive. 

 

“Yeah…” Keith felt his nerves twist at where the story was going. 

 

Hunk started saying something, but then Pidge’s clear voice interrupted him.

 

“Basically Lance was dating that girl. She was crazy and cut Lance off from us,” Pidge said, rolling her eyes so intensely Keith thought they'd get stuck in the back of her head. “It was a bunch of drama.” 

 

“Yeah, drama that you did nothing to help,” Hunk huffed, digging into his food. Pidge scoffed, throwing her hands up in mock defense. “It’s not my fault I don’t have a soulmate.”  

 

“Wait, you don’t have a soulmate?” Keith felt the words leave his lips before he even realized what he was saying. Pidge just shrugged, lifting up her sleeve to reveal her unusually barren right arm.  Her pale skin was completely void of a soul clock. Keith couldn’t help but stare. 

 

“Wow, I’m so jealous,” Keith blurted out. He was met by one of the most tense silences of his life. Hunk and Pidge just stared at him, bewildered, and Keith realized he should probably learn to control his mouth. His stomach dropped, anxiety swelling deep in his gut, and he just stared back at them, wide eyed. 

 

“That was not cool, Keith,” Pidge said flatly, staring directly into Keith’s soul. He felt his palms start to sweat. 

 

“Look, we know that you’re kind of weird about soulmates, Shiro very  _ very  _ vaguely told us about that, but Lance is our best friend,” Hunk chimed in, slowly picking at his food now so he could focus most of his energy in staring at Keith. Keith felt an influx of emotions rush at him. He wanted to defend himself, to tell them all his thoughts on how soulmates were evil. How soulmates were the worst thing about people. Soulmates ruined not only each other's’ lives, but also every life that they touched. But Keith knew better. He had been insensitive, and he realized he hadn’t even addressed the subject of the girl that Lance had apparently dated. He basically just watered down their conversation to how he didn’t want Lance as his soulmate, bypassing all the pain that this strange girl had caused Lance. He didn’t bother to ask anything about the girl, but jumped at the chance to announce his already known disposition with soulmates. A disposition that Pidge and Hunk already knew not only from Shiro, but also just from being Lance’s friend. Pidge and Hunk had been there for Lance when Keith kept avoiding him, pushing back their time for as long as possible. They had been there for Lance when Keith had moved, making it clear that he didn’t want them to meet. Keith really was an ass sometimes. 

 

“I-I’m sorry guys. I shouldn’t have said that,” Keith said quietly, wringing his fingers on the table. He looked down, keeping his gaze on the reddening skin of his knuckles. He heard Hunk sigh, and the creak of a chair meaning someone leaned back. 

 

“It’s whatever. Don’t worry about it. It’s just that… Well, that girl, Nyma, she really messed Lance up,” Pidge said softly, and Keith looked up to see her reclining in her chair, staring at the ceiling in thought. “Lance got it in his head that.. Ugh I don’t know if I should say this,” Pidge pinched the bridge of her nose, looking at Hunk in the corner of her eye for confirmation. Hunk put his fork down and pushed his food away. “No, I think it’s okay. Keith should hear this,” Hunk said reassuringly. He laced his hands together before looking at Keith very seriously, as if they were talking about something sacred. 

 

“Lance thought that… Just, Nyma really put him down all the time, and Lance thought that it was okay. That it was what he deserved-”

 

“Because of his soulmate,” Pidge interrupted, “or rather his lack of one.”

 

Keith felt his palms sweat. Keith thought he knew the damage he’d created, but in reality he didn't know anything at all. He didn't know Lance, what he's been through or who he really was. That was the problem with soulmates. It was two strangers forced together by “fate,” and Keith had seen the fallout of when fate was wrong. 

 

“But, for the most part, Nyma is out of our lives. She doesn't even go here, she just likes parading her new boy toys,” Hunk said in what Keith thought was supposed be a comforting manner, but really it just made Keith's stomach hurt. Pidge slapped her hands down on the table, looking between Hunk and Keith expectantly. 

 

“Well, I think that's enough of this conversation for one day. If you want to know more you're gonna have to ask Lance. So let's talk about this English homework,” Pidge began, taking a thick binder out of her backpack and slamming it on the table. Hunk sighed, muttering something about how hard the assignment was. Keith tried to focus on their homework, but he had to keep forcing himself to not look back over at the girl.  _ Nyma _ . He knew he should let it go. He shouldn't care about whatever drama happened because that was Lance’s baggage to deal with. Keith wasn't even there, but he couldn't seem to push the thoughts away. Despite himself, Keith did want to know more. He wanted to know everything, and his curiosity was suffocating. He knew he would never ask Lance though. He couldn't. It really wasn't his place to go poking around in something clearly so sensitive. Just as Lance was a stranger to him, he was a stranger to Lance. And if they were going to be friends, Keith wasn't going to ruin everything by exposing old wounds. Still, his burning questions left a sour taste in his mouth.

 

******************

 

Keith was exhausted. His classes today had been longer than yesterday, and more mentally taxing. All he could think about as he mounted his bike was going home and putting on his robe. He'd blast music, and tend to the few night plants he’d recently purchased. His apartment was a work in progress, but after his furniture had been delivered, it was looking much better. His living was adorned with a plain black couch, surrounded by two red bean bag chairs (one of which cradled his DS, charging for more hours binge-playing animal crossing.) The couch and chairs were huddled around a small TV against the wall, and to the right was his slim balcony. On the balcony, were his two night plants, that he’d purchased a few days prior. One was a simple moonflower, young and barely budding, while the other one was a grown Japanese Wisteria. It had been a bitch to find a store that sold these plants, and Keith ended up having to drive just about two hours away to find a store. It had been worth it though, and Keith intended on going back and buying more plants once he found a job. 

 

His kitchen was bland, just filled with the essentials, but just beyond the bar cutting the area, was his “dining table.” It was more so a patio set. He’d spent the majority of his money on his plants and decorations, so he had to settle for a black lattice-design table, with two matching chairs. It looked a little out of place, like it should be outside a coffee shop rather than in the middle of his apartment, but he just went with it. It didn’t really matter, he ate all his microwave meals on his couch anyway. 

 

The part of his newly decorated apartment he was most proud of though, was his walls. He’d taken inspiration from Shiro and Matt’s apartment, but since he didn’t have any pictures with friends to put up, he decided on posters and drawings instead. He had countless posters of space. It ranged from constellations to supernovas to planets and their moons. He thought it accurately depicted his obsession with the universes beyond Earth. He also pinned up one of his favorite drawings he’d done in high school. It was a charcoal drawing of the Roman colosseum, spanning around three feet long and two feet high. It was extremely detailed and accurate to the original structure, and Keith would never stop being proud of it. He’d put it up in the middle of his living room, just beside his balcony so he could look at it whenever he pleased. Keith had also stuck up glow in the dark stars all along the walls of his entire apartment. He arranged them in famous constellations, but also had small stars dotting any empty spaces on his walls to fill the small space with some sort of light. 

 

Keith was excited to go home and relax as he put the key in the ignition of his bike, but then he heard his phone go off in his pocket. He sighed as he whipped it out, recognizing the chime to be the one he set for Shiro. 

 

**[Shiro: 4:32 pm]**

**Movie night tonight. B there @ 6**

 

Keith rolled his eyes fondly. Shiro didn’t even give him a choice, not that he was mad about it.

 

**[Me: 4:33 pm]**

**when did you learn about @**

 

**[Shiro: 4:34 pm]**

**I got a twitter ;P**

 

**[Me: 4:34 pm]**

**ew**

 

**[Me: 4:34 pm]**

**give me your @**

 

Keith laughed at Shiro’s barren twitter, quickly hitting follow before heading home to shower and water his plants. He hadn’t had any one-on-one time with his brother since his very first day back. He was excited to talk to him and watch a movie like when they were kids. Shiro would always try to convince Keith to watch horror movies with him, but Keith always preferred alien movies. Horror films just always seemed to rub Keith the wrong way. It wasn’t that he scared easy, of course not he was a grown man, but… it wasn’t necessarily  _ hard  _ to scare him. Not to mention the fact that he already didn’t get enough sleep as it is, and he didn’t need nightmares interrupting the rare moments of sleep he did get. 

 

Keith hummed softly to the song playing on his headphones as he finished up watering his plants. He had taken a longer shower than usual, lathering himself in his favorite soaps he reserved for special occasions. It was expensive Korean shampoo and conditioner that Shiro’s parents had given him as a goodbye gift when he moved, and Keith fell in love with the scent. He made sure to use it sparingly so it would last a long time, but tonight he made an exception. It was special to be back with his brother, and he wanted to revel in it a bit. 

 

Keith quickly threw on his softest hoodie and a pair of jeans, slipping on his shoes before heading to his bike. He sent Shiro a quick text saying that he was on his way and slid on his helmet. Just as he sat down, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. 

 

**[Shiro: 5:48 pm]**

**Pls bring popcorn <3**

 

Keith rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically before starting his bike. He stopped by the store and picked up popcorn for his stupid brother, and it made Keith a little late to the movie night. When Shiro opened the door for him, his apartment was already dark and Keith could hear the play screen of a movie playing in the living room. 

 

“You’re late,” Shiro deadpanned, blocking the door by leaning his arms on the frame. Keith rolled his eyes once again before throwing the bag of popcorn at Shiro and shoving past him inside. He was met in the living room by six sets of eyes staring at him. Apparently, this was not going to be a brother night. Keith stood frozen in the entrance of the living room, staring back at his friends. 

 

“Oooooooh, Keith is here! The party can start now!” Matt said excitedly, bouncing in his seat next to Pidge. 

“And he brought popcorn!” Shiro announced, throwing the bag on the coffee table before plopping down next to Allura and Hunk. Keith quickly assessed the seating arrangement, feeling stupid just standing in front of everyone. On the loveseat to the right were the Holt siblings, the two chairs to the left held Hunk and Coran, and on the couch in the middle were Shiro, Allura, and Lance. Of course the only open seat was the one between the arm rest and Lance. They had to have done this on purpose. 

 

“You’re not even going to make it?” Keith asked as he slowly made his way towards the couch. Lance was very carefully avoiding eye contact, switching from looking at the screen expectantly to looking at the floor. Keith could feel Lance’s apprehension about the seating situation as well. 

 

“Nah, it’s for later. Popcorn isn’t good for scary movies, people jump, popcorn goes everywhere,” Shiro waved his hand, shaking his head. Keith tsked as he sat down, being careful to not touch Lance. Then he realized something. 

 

“Wait- wait, did you say scary movie?” Keith asked.

 

“Yeah, we’re watching The Conjuring,” Shiro smiled. Keith couldn’t believe how wrong he’d been about this whole night. 

 

“I’ve already seen it, and it’s so good. I’d rewatch it anyday,” Lance laughed, sounding slightly breathy. Keith could feel Lance’s nerves starting to settle, but he couldn’t say the same for himself. He quickly threw up his hood, he needed it to survive this movie. 

 

“I’ve been wanting to watch this film for a long time! When I was your age horror films-” Coran started, only to be stopped by Allura.

 

“Yes, yes, we know Coran the props were simple and it was the acting that made the magic. Shall we see if this film is up to your standards?” Allura said sweetly, sending a quick wink in Coran’s direction. Coran laughed heartily, leaning back in his chair. 

 

“Great idea,” Shiro quickly pressed play on the remote and the movie began. Keith pulled his legs up on the couch, having his knees to hide behind. He wasn’t scared of scary movies. Definitely not. He felt Lance shift next to him, their hips suddenly touching. Sitting this close had made their bond stronger, but nothing too overwhelming since their clothing was blocking any skin-to-skin contact. Lance wasn’t feeling anything particularly strong about the movie, just a subtle excitement for it from having seen it so many times. He was tired and slightly giddy, a fuzzy feeling tingling Keith's chest and arms. Keith tried to subtly scoot away, not wanting to give himself away as the movie slowly got scarier. It didn't matter much though since after the first loud noise echoed through Shiro’s surround sound, Keith jumped. He gripped his knees to his chest tightly, praying that Lance just thought he twitched super bad or something. Of course, Keith wasn't that lucky though, and Lance peered at him from the corner of his eye. 

 

“You good, Keith?” Lance asked softly, leaning closer so only Keith could hear him. Keith thanked whatever was out there that he had his hood up, otherwise he was sure he would have felt Lance’s breath against his ear. 

 

“Of course… Don't-don't be stupid,” Keith mumbled back, but his voice was timid. He may as well have had a neon sign on his forehead flashing “I'M SCARED.” Lance’s face slowly split into a smirk, his eyes twinkling. He scooted closer, just enough to where it could have been him just readjusting, but Keith knew better. Their proximity made Keith's head spin as Lance purposefully closed the miniscule between them. 

 

“You sure you're not scared?” Lance whispered, keeping his eyes on the movie.  Keith jumped at the sound of Lance's voice, the movie was getting intense. He felt Lance laugh rather than heard him. Keith was about to snap back, though he knew it would be unconvincing, but then the movie decided to jump scare them. Keith wasn't the only one who screamed, so he could feel a little better about that. He was, however, the only one who got so scared he reached out and grabbed the thing closest to him. That thing just so happened to be Lance's leg, and Keith was clawing into the hard muscle of Lance's thigh like his life depended on it. Lance made some sort of noise like he was holding in a sneeze and then just burst out laughing. 

 

“Wha- H-How are you laughing?! That was terrifying!?” Hunk stared at Lance with wide eyes. Keith panicked. It was dark enough that no one could see his hand death-squeezing Lance, but he didn't want to take any chances. 

 

“You guys all jumped! It was too funny,” Lance pretended to wipe a tear from his eye, his hand coming down on top of Keith's on his leg, preventing Keith from pulling away. 

 

“Yeah, yeah, we all know you're basically a hardened murderer from all the scary movies you've seen, Lance, but some of us like to be scared from scary movies. Kind of the point,” Pidge quipped, shushing Lance when he tried to reply. Keith was not one of those people. He did not like being scared from scary movies, he was scared enough as it is all the time.

 

Lance's hand gently squeezed Keith's before letting go just enough that only their pinkies were overlapping. Keith wanted to pull his hand away fully; he really did. He wanted to tuck his fists in his sleeves and cover his eyes to shield himself, but the hand linking pinkies with Lance stayed there. If anything, his grip on Lance tightened, but Lance didn't seem to mind. He just slowly starting doing the weird soulmate shit he did in class, but less intense this time. Whenever Keith got too scared, sweaty and shaking, Lance would send over a small wave of comfort. It felt warm like a burst of energy traveling from his linked pinky all the way to his scalp. It was patronizing really, Keith was not a child. He didn't need Lance monitoring his panic all the time, like he was some sort of guardian over Keith. Still, Keith didn't pull his hand away. Sometimes he really hated how good comfort could feel. 

 

By the time the movie was finally over, Keith couldn't feel his fingers anymore. He subtly pulled his hand away, stretching it out with a grimace. He ignored the knowing look Lance cast him, focusing on the growing conversation around him instead. Shiro finally got up to make popcorn while the group discussed the movie. Hunk and Coran seemed thoroughly traumatized (Coran apparently was not ready for the top notch special effects), while the Holt siblings and Allura seemed bored by the film. Allura claimed she thought it was more sinister than scary, and the siblings just picked the movie apart. Even the tiniest detail or plot hole did not escape them. Keith, like Hunk and Coran, had been left scarred from The Conjuring. He was scared speechless, honestly, and he felt a little pathetic. He was definitely going to have nightmares, but he knew they wouldn't be as bad as they usually would be after a film like this. Not when Lance had been….doing whatever he’d been doing. Lance just kept saying how great the movie was, and his smile was so blinding Keith couldn't look directly at him.  

 

The rest of the night was filled with romcoms and laughter. Keith had been disappointed at first that it wasn't going to be just Shiro and him, but by the time everyone was either falling asleep or going home, Keith was actually incredibly grateful. He loved his brother very much, but it was nice he got the chance to hang out with the people his brother loved too. He'd bonded with Allura over putting M&Ms in the popcorn, and found out that he, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge watched basically all of the same shows. After the group's third movie, the four of them had voted on binge watching a show for the rest of the night. They'd landed on Friends, just a nice background show as the group kept talking and laughing. Shiro, Matt, and Pidge somehow got tangled in an argument, spiraling from person saying how the next person was worse. It started with Shiro being called out on his fatherly behavior, then Shiro roasting Matt for doing nothing but playing video games, and then Matt and Shiro both berating Pidge overbearing perfectionism. It just kept going as they used ammo from living together (Pidge was just always at their apartment) against each other. Keith didn’t want any part in it. Allura, Coran, and Hunk were deep in a philosophical conversation about food. Keith wasn't sure where exactly he fit in, so he remained on the sidelines, observing the friendly conversations. After a while, Keith finally realized he wasn't actually alone. Lance was perched on the couch arm to the right of Keith and was silently munching on the popcorn they'd all made and abandoned. It wasn't like Lance snuck up on Keith, it was more like Keith got used to Lance and just now realized his presence. Keith expected Lance to be the center of attention and offering his opinion to anyone who'll listen, but instead, he was comfortable just watching with Keith. Lance briefly caught Keith's eye and smiled a tiny, secret smile. Keith felt his eyebrows raise in confusion. Were they hanging out right now? Is that what was happening? Keith felt content vibes from Lance and decided to just sit back and see what happened. Despite that decision, Lance felt Keith's antsy thoughts and stood up. After putting the popcorn bowl down, he plopped right next to Keith on the sofa. A small gust of air blew out as Lance sat down, and Keith got a whiff of Lance's cologne. It was more subtle than Keith expected from Lance, almost floral. Keith wished he hadn’t smelled it, because he liked it. Fuck the universe, man. 

 

Keith tried to not focus on how Lance smelled like a fucking meadow, but with no conversation between them, he felt his attention steering back to Lance whether he wanted it or not. Lance was dressed head to toe in Adidas, his black joggers snugly fitting his legs, and his white T-shirt displaying his forearms (which were surprisingly muscular.) Lance’s outfit was so relaxed yet put together, and then Keith saw that his socks didn’t match. Of course. Keith’s eyes trailed up Lance’s figure until they stopped on a wood beaded bracelet. Keith liked that too. Keith kept staring at the bracelet until Lance moved his hand to scratch the back of his neck bashfully. He was distracted by a conversation with Shiro, but Keith was distracted by the little black hoops in Lance’s ears. Keith had always been a sucker for boys with pierced ears. Then Keith’s eyes traveled to Lance’s face, noticing a gentle blush spreading across his cheek. Keith wondered why he was blushing, and, come to think of it, why was Lance feeling so embarrassed? 

 

Oh my god.

 

Keith forgot about their stupid bond.

 

Lance slowly turned in Keith’s direction, finishing his conversation with Shiro. He looked at Keith with an open expression, almost expecting, and Keith felt words bubbling up that he couldn’t hold back.

 

“I-I like your fit. Your outfit, I mean,” Keith blurted. It was like Keith was just getting more awkward as the night went on. Lance stared back at him for a moment before seeming to understand what Keith had said. He smiled slightly, a breathy laugh escaping his lips.

 

“Oh, uh, thanks,” Lance said with a wink. Keith felt his stomach clench not unpleasantly from Lance's response yet wished he would never speak again at the same time. This was all getting too weird. Before any awkward conversation between Keith and Lance could start up, Keith’s hood was violently ripped off of his head. 

 

“Hey, no hoods inside, young man. We can't see your lovely face,” Allura chided lovingly. Without the protection of his hood, Keith's hair flopped all over his face, neck, and shoulders. He laughed awkwardly to cover up his shock at being so easily manhandled. He hadn’t brushed his hair either, so his waves were even more curly than usual. He wasn’t prepared to present his wild hair like this. 

 

“Whoa man, something smells  _ really _ good all of a sudden. Did any of you spray something?” Hunk inquired loudly.

 

“That's just Keith's fancy ass Korean shampoo,” Shiro explained, knowing Keith way too well.

 

“Wait a minute, I wanna smell! Get over here, Keithy,” Matt exclaimed as he scaled the couch to reach Keith. Before Keith could think to push Matt away, Matt was already yanking Keith's hair up to his face. Soon after, everyone wanted to smell Keith's hair, and Keith didn’t know how to appropriately react to the situation. He wasn’t very comfortable with people invading his space, but these were his friends, and he knew his hair smelled damn good too. So Keith just accepted his fate and let it happen. After Matt was Pidge, then Hunk, then Shiro and Allura. Coran lingered a bit after his turn, claiming that he absolutely had to know the brand the Keith used for his “luscious locks.” Last was Lance, who had been pushed away from the couch in the rush for everyone to smell Keith’s hair. He stood awkwardly before Keith, shuffling his feet, and Keith could feel both of their nerves.

 

“Um, is it- would it be weird if I… you know?” Lance asked quietly.

 

“I-I think it would be… it’d be weirder if you didn’t at this point,” Keith muttered back. Lance nodded, slowly leaning in with a look of determination on his face. He quickly sniffed, taking much less time than the rest of the group had, before pulling back and nodding once more.

 

“Ah, yep. That’s um, that’s not bad. Yeah,” He rambled before flopping himself down on the couch and avoiding looking at Keith. Keith could have sworn Lance’s cheeks were flushed again, but he chose to ignore it. He also avoided looking at Lance, and the group settled back down around the TV, still all wrapped up in their conversations. Keith actually started speaking up this time, and everyone seemed to make it a point to include him more often than not. They kept asking him questions, not like a interview or interrogation, but just curious little questions that they wanted the answers to. They already all knew everything about each other, but Keith was a friendly stranger, and the group seemed to not like that. They wanted Keith to be on their level of friendship instantly, and Shiro did a good job of making sure Keith didn't sugar coat any of his answers. Especially any questions revolving middle school. 

 

When it started getting late and everyone was gathering their things to go home, Shiro decided he wanted to take a group picture to add to the collection on his walls. Everyone stood in front of the TV as Shiro set up his polaroid, and ten seconds later their night was cemented in a picture forever. Keith felt so elated staring at the little picture of them that his smile was actually hurting his cheeks. He looked a little pissed off in the picture, staring at the camera under his bangs with Allura’s arm practically strangling him, but he didn't care. Hunk and Lance stole the show with their huge, perfect smiles anyway. Not to mention how stunning Allura looked no matter what. Even the Holt siblings seemed to be the flawless image of upstanding youth. Coran had his arms thrown up in celebration, his mustache covering most of his face. Shiro was in the center, looking like he just won the lottery. It was a really great picture. Keith secretly took a picture of the Polaroid on his phone to keep for himself. 

 

Pidge decided to stay the night, too tired to go home, and she and Matt settled back down on the couch. Matt dozed off almost instantly with Pidge close behind. Allura and Coran said their goodbyes and left because they had work the next day. Keith hovered around Shiro for a bit before checking the time on his phone and realizing it was time to go. He said his goodbyes, hugging Shiro and then awkwardly waving to Lance and Hunk before turning towards the door. He was stopped by Hunk’s voice calling out to him, however. 

 

“Oh Keith! I forgot to say this earlier but Shiro mentioned you were looking for a job?” Hunk walked towards Keith, a friendly smile on his face. Keith stuttered for a moment before saying that yes, he was definitely looking for a job. He didn't remember mentioning it to his brother, but Shiro was pretty observant. Keith was running out of the money he'd saved up to move, especially after decorating his apartment. 

 

“My girlfriend, Shay, works at the planetarium,” Keith's eyes flicked over to Lance quickly before returning to Hunk, “and she said that they have an opening if you'd be interested?” Hunk asked like he already knew the answer to the question, and Keith wondered how much the group knew about his and Lance's first meeting. 

 

“Ah, yeah that'd be awesome Hunk. Thank you so much,” Keith smiled, his hand coming up to twist the curls at his neck absently. Hunk nodded, saying it was no problem and that Shay would call him about it tomorrow. He quickly pulled Keith in for a goodbye hug before letting him go, muttering something about how dare Keith try to sneak out without the necessary goodbye hug. Keith just waved lamely to Shiro and Lance and headed towards his bike. It was near 2 am at that point, and barely anyone was on the road. It made the drive peaceful, but lonely. He didn't have any cars to count, so he started counting lights. Only the red ones, of course. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEEEEEEEYYYYYY  
> Sorry for the late update. The super late update. We got really distracted with our lives, but we're back now and remembered all of our ideas. We tried to pack this chapter with a lot of interaction for you guys to make up for the 6 month hiatus. We hope you all are still interested and enjoyed the chapter. Let us know what you think in the comments!

**Author's Note:**

> We're novice authors but we're really excited for this. We have a lot planned and will probably make a playlist and art for this fic so stay with us!  
> Coauthor: plat0nictrash.tumblr.com


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